IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behavior #action
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In recent years, with
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of shopping industries, there are numerous methods for buying products. Based on the latest research most of the buyers are just addicted to
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 things that are not mandatory.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons and
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 some solutions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping websites and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applications could have negative impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 addiction. These sites are available twenty hours of seven days which make it easier to purchase instruments. They show
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
show examples
 perspective of products and gives a brief introduction which mostly
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 the positive sides of it and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
surfer
Correct article usage
the surfer
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
order it with a simple click.
For instance
Linking Words
, online well-known shops as Alibaba, eBay or Amazon give a wide range of opportunities
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each product and a person can add them to their buying card without any hesitation or thought.
Sum
Fix the infinitive
To sum
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 it up, with improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can waste money comfortably from home and buy things they do not need in their daily lives.
However
Linking Words
, there are some solutions to prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from buying many insufficient
stuffs
Change the wording
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
. The bank’s system could make applications
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can write down their incomes and monthly
pay
Replace the word
payments
show examples
 for their lives and
therefore
Linking Words
, it calculates the amount of money a user can spend for monthly internet shops.
For instance
Linking Words
, a famous bank from Italy made an application by name of “payment bag” which gives tips in order to control
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
. By using financial apps
people
Use synonyms
 can maintain their wallets. To conclude, with all improvement of internet shops most of the society spend a big amount of money to purchase useless products but with help of the banks and the government control
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
accounts
Add a comma
,accounts
show examples
 they can control the balance.
Submitted by farrinprad on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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