IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behavior #action
In recent years, with
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of shopping industries, there are numerous methods for buying products. Based on the latest research most of the buyers are just addicted to
buy
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buying
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 things that are not mandatory.
This
 essay discusses
about
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apply
show examples
the reasons and
give
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gives
show examples
 some solutions.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shopping websites and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applications could have negative impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 addiction. These sites are available twenty hours of seven days which make it easier to purchase instruments. They show
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
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 perspective of products and gives a brief introduction which mostly
include
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includes
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 the positive sides of it and
make
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makes
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surfer
Correct article usage
the surfer
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to
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apply
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order it with a simple click.
For instance
, online well-known shops as Alibaba, eBay or Amazon give a wide range of opportunities
about
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for
show examples
 each product and a person can add them to their buying card without any hesitation or thought.
Sum
Fix the infinitive
To sum
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 it up, with improving
of
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apply
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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people
 can waste money comfortably from home and buy things they do not need in their daily lives.
However
, there are some solutions to prevent
people
 from buying many insufficient
stuffs
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kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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. The bank’s system could make applications
which
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in which
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people
 can write down their incomes and monthly
pay
Replace the word
payments
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 for their lives and
therefore
, it calculates the amount of money a user can spend for monthly internet shops.
For instance
, a famous bank from Italy made an application by name of “payment bag” which gives tips in order to control
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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. By using financial apps
people
 can maintain their wallets. To conclude, with all improvement of internet shops most of the society spend a big amount of money to purchase useless products but with help of the banks and the government control
on
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apply
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people
accounts
Add a comma
,accounts
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 they can control the balance.
Submitted by farrinprad on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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