Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution

Recently, thanks to medical technological advancements, the expected life of older

people

have improved significantly.

Hence

, there is a suggestion that they can continue to live full and active lives over age the of sixty-five. In my opinion, I believe that there are two ways that elderly

people

can contribute to society.

To begin

with, one of the main ways that older

people

can be beneficial is that they can help parents in upbringing their

children

This

is because many households have working parents, and they would feel safe if they leave their

children

with their grandparents in the morning.

For example

, in my country, many

children

enjoy staying with their grandparents because they share stories with them, and

children

always love to listen to stories.

As a result

, these

children

will more likely to learn valuable life lessons leading them to be good citizens in the future. Another benefit that society can gain from elderly

people

is by allowing them to guide the current workforce in their jobs. The reason for

this

is that older

people

gained a lot of experience and wisdom from their previous working time.

For instance

, if companies employ retired

people

part-time to mentor young employees, these young employees will gain worthwhile technical skills in their field and communication skills to effectively deal with others. With that in mind, these companies will have a better work environment leading to achieve remarkable success. In conclusion, since the heath of older

people

has improved, they can continue to live active lives after retirement.

Therefore

, they can benefit society by helping parents to raise their

children

as well as mentor the workforce to be productive and successful.

Submitted by omarmohamed995 on Sat Sep 04 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries goverment are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why this is happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. what are the causes and its solution?