Students should pay the full cost of their own study because university education benefits individual rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years around the world, there
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a big debate on spending money by graduates to pursue degrees from the university. Even though, it looks like the graduation certificate is beneficial to the person who received it
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we are not supposed to ignore
this
knowledge will serve back to the nation. I strongly agree the complete cost of the University expense is not from the
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
pocket as it leads
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
young talents who are financially poor.
Firstly
, we need to agree
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
Universities
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
a lot of financial needs to run a quality education system. They are supposed to hire highly qualified lecturers who obviously demand high pay and they need vast expensive laboratory equipment for practical experiments.
As an
Change preposition
An
show examples
individual who is going to pursue their degree in
such
a highly qualified environment
supposed
Add a missing verb
is supposed
show examples
to pay the full fee to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
credibility and running costs.
However
, if an individual student who is overqualified with his talent and financially poor is not able to pay
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
much they demand. So obviously, the nation going to lose a talented individual who may make good inventions for the future generation. To consider
this
point the local government
suppose
Wrong verb form
is supposed
show examples
to take
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
initiative to pay the university bill based on the
candidate
Change noun form
candidate's
show examples
capabilities.
For example
, they can conduct some competitive exams to grade a
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
talent and they can decide how much per cent of the expense they can pay. In conclusion, the
universities
Change noun form
university's
universities'
show examples
education
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
are not supposed to stop or step out of young talent who are going to build our future. The governments
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
to pay the entire payment of these young talents or they are supposed to share the fee percentage.
Submitted by devireddyammaiah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure to address all aspects of the prompt in a clear and structured manner. Develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that clearly states your position. Additionally, ensure a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary education
  • employability
  • economic growth
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public funding
  • research and development
  • prosperity
  • equity in education
  • innovation
  • high earning potential
  • personal development
  • educated workforce
  • exacerbating
  • accessibility
  • public good
  • qualified individuals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: