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Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #improvements
It is true that some commentators argue that
students
 with the best scores deserve rewards, while others think that it is more significant to praise those who make great improvements. In my opinion, I totally agree that
students
 who make strides in academic performance should be given awards. There are a number of reasons why those who get the highest grades should receive awards.
Firstly
, if pupils achieving the highest scores receive recognition for their capabilities, they will be motivated to put their effort into study.
Moreover
,
this
 will create a highly competitive studying environment at school, seeing that every student desire to win prizes.
Secondly
, pupils who get the best scores deserve to have a chance to nurture their capabilities.
For example
, gifted
students
 in Vietnam are selected for extra classes to take part in national competitions.
However
, I believe that it is more essential for pupils who make progress in studying to be recognized for their effort. The
first
 benefit is that adopting
this
 approach will follow the holistic principle of studying, which is to access the world of knowledge, not just to gain the best grades.
As a result
, some phenomena which occur when examinations approach, including anxiety and cheating, will be reduced. Another benefit is that
students
 who are not very academically inclined will be motivated when teachers give encouragement to them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they make great strides.
Therefore
,
instead
 of competing with their top classmates, they only focus on their studies. In conclusion,
although
 giving awards to
students
 with the best academic results is advantageous to some extent, it seems to me that those who make progress in academic performance should get rewards.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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