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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measure are required.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measure
In various nations around the world, governments and policymakers are started to emphasise to the public the benefits of a healthy
lifestyle
.
However
, there is a numerous of
people
 argue that by increasing the
sports
facilities
 are not the wisely solution, whereas others support on it. From my perspective,
sports
facilities
 and other measurements should be working together in order to improve public health in the future. In
this
 essay, I will describe both views and evaluate my description. There are several pros by introduced
sports
facilities
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. One of the most significant is public will be supervised by the instructor during the
exercise
.
This
 is because, every
exercise
 will be conducted by a few instructors, so their body posture will be monitored closely as well as their diet.
For example
,
people
 who have an intention to lose weight will be weekly weight body by the gym instructor before they started to
exercise
.
As a result
, the chance of not carrying a healthy
lifestyle
 will be below.
In addition
, introducing the
sports
facilities
 around the resident's playground is the best ideal.
This
 is because
people
 can bring along the kids to relax at the playground and at the same time, they can do some activities using the
sports
 equipment.
For example
,
people
 who dislike signing up for a package at the gym centre will be attracted to the gym
facilities
 constructed at the playground.
As a result
,
this
 will slowly be adapted to the
people
 who working office hours or old generation
people
.
On the other hand
, other solutions that will be effective in creating an awareness among the public about a healthy
lifestyle
 will be launched
Add an article
the
a
show examples
campaign.
For example
, the scientists can have a talk about the importance of self-hygiene, or the importance of
exercise
 weekly among all the categories and many more.
Consequently
,
people
 who have heard the talk will slowly comply with the scientists' talk and eventually improve their healthy
lifestyle
.
Moreover
, the government should encourage the media corp to publish the news or information about the pros of maintaining a healthy
lifestyle
 in a person. Nowadays, many
people
 are engaging with their gadgets throughout the day and night time, so released the news via apps or online will be the most effective way. To sum up, there are several ways to create awareness among the public on improving the healthy
lifestyle
. Government and other relevant sectors should work together in order to achieve the outcomes.
Submitted by tehmaylean on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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