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Band 5

Some people think that lawbreakers should be put into prisons while others think that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinions?

#people #lawbreakers #prisons #alternatives
It is believed that criminals should be put into jail while some
people
 think that there are always better solutions to
people
 who commit a crime. From my own
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
, among
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
opinions, having alternative methods to deal with
lawbreakers
 will be the best choice. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
lawbreakers
 should be imprisoned.
Firstly
, they should be punished due to bad things they have done. Some criminals who commit serious crimes
such
 as drug trafficking,
murdering
Replace the word
murder
show examples
, … must be kept in prison because their illegal acts are very dangerous and may have negative effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Secondly
,
lawbreakers
 should be put into prisons to act as a deterrent.
For instance
, the government should put
people
 who get involved in serious crimes into jail and apply
zero tolerance
Add a hyphen
zero-tolerance
show examples
 policies so that other
people
 will consider
this
 a deterrent.
Moreover
, due to
this
 way, there will be a significant decrease in the proportion of crime in the near future.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 other alternatives.
First
 of all,Some criminals who get involved in petty crimes shouldn’t be put into prison. They should be forced to do community labour or have non-custodial sentences.
This
 will help them to have a chance to make a fresh start and they can reintegrate
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 society.
Second
 of all, putting too many
lawbreakers
 into prisons will affect the economy of a country. Some prisoners have to stay in prison for a long time so that the government has to provide them food, water, and clothes for free which contributes to the economic downturn of a country. In conclusion, the government should only send serious
offender
Fix the agreement mistake
offenders
show examples
 into jail and other
misdemeanors
Change the spelling
misdemeanours
show examples
 should have other reasonable punishments
Submitted by lekhanhhoa1208 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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