many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
advocate that unhealthy products which have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
percentage of
sugar
have
negative
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a negative
show examples
impact on
people
health.
Thus
they believe that if
Change the determiner
these
show examples
this
foods raise prices ,
people
demands reduce simultaneously. I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
statement with two main reasons which are going to explain in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, many individuals accept that
Sugar
causes numerous health problems that are obesity,
colestrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
and
diabeth
Correct your spelling
diabetes
. Most of the experts give precautions about
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
of
high level
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high-level
show examples
sugar
using for
people
who are keen on
sugar
.
Moreover
,
People
do not notice
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
importance of their health So they come across
healt
Correct your spelling
health
obstacles
,
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apply
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when they obtain
mindfullness
Correct your spelling
mindfulness
related harm of
sugar
. Plenty of Countries decided that the price of
sugar
products raise and they undertake responsibilities from societies affect.
Similarly
, some
of
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apply
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states
Add an article
the states
show examples
forhibid
Correct your spelling
forbid
that produce
food
and drink categories
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
contain high levels of
sugar
.
Secondly
,
People
who
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whom
show examples
parents lose control upon their
children
nutrition tendency.
Furthermore
, it is undeniable that most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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children
are addicted
junk
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to junk
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food
. Regarding
to
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apply
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teachers,
Nutritition
Correct your spelling
Nutrition
plays
crucial
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a crucial
show examples
role
on
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in
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
children
.
In addition
to
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apply
show examples
, If they do not get enough
vitamin
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vitamins
show examples
and
minarel
Correct your spelling
mineral
minerals
, they face some
of
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apply
show examples
problems
Add an article
the problems
show examples
that their cognitive and physical
devolepment
Correct your spelling
development
. To exemplify, many
school
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schools
show examples
in Europe, they make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
itinerary
releated
Correct your spelling
related
food
plan and they increase
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of junk foods in school canteen so they force on
children
due to
children
following
this
plan and avoid
tendency
Add an article
the tendency
show examples
of
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to
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buy junk
food
. To sum up, plenty of
people
admitted that
Sugar
is too
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
materials for individuals. Sugary
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
praices
Correct your spelling
prices
should increase to encourage individuals to tend to less level of
sugar
.
Submitted by dynasty_sern on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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