IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views and give tour opinion

#belief #death #penalty #deterrent #crimes #life #sentence #tour
People
 tend to maintain that
crimes
 could be prevented with the
death
penalty
, while others argue that
life
 imprisoned is better. Even though execution sounds more severe, I completely agree that
life
 long sentence is the worst for
people
. Many individuals think that the
death
penalty
 restricts
people
 from causing heinous
crimes
 because it makes them unable to live their normal lives. Most
people
 have many friends, families, and loved ones that they could not risk their lives breaking the strict regulations.
Furthermore
, individuals can not imagine what they will encounter in the afterlife which there are several scary myths about it. For these reasons, certain countries exercise the
death
penalty
 in serious cases. Thailand
also
 has the
death
penalty
 for
people
 who have caused a dreadful crime.
However
,
untemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 imprisonment is a better deterrent as prisoners have to stay in a small room, knowing that normal
life
 is impossible, and the
death
penalty
 cause only one time. Prisoners are locked up with their guilt for the rest of their lives, receiving low-quality meals and scolds from others every single day.
Besides
, they do not know their maturity date and time unlike being executed. Take Thailand as an example, most prisoners do not scare of
death
 and they prefer to die
instead
 of living. In conclusion,
life
 long sentences should be focused more than their
penalty
death
 counterparts. I genuinely believe that
crimes
 would occur less if
this
 is highlighted. At the end of the day,
people
 should know by themselves that they should not cause any
crimes
 with or without
penalty
.
Submitted by mintjinjutha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: