IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

death penality is best way to control and reduce serious crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#death #penality #control #crime
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The dynamics of
occuring
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occurring
crime
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 have been changed rampantly over the years. some folks
beleive
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believe
 that capital
punishment
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 is
prime
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a prime
the prime
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 way to bring down
crime
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 rates.
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however
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,however
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i
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I
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 believe that death sentences are not fruitful in minimizing
crime
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,
violeneces
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violence
 and other
offenses
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offences
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. over the past period of
time
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,time
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 the rate of
crime
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have
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has
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 been increased in developing as well as in developed nations.
Prime
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The prime
A prime
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 reason for
this
Linking Words
 detrimental effect is
an
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apply
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unemployement
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unemployment
. people are unemployed as they have more time to think or to made
plan
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plans
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 for crimes to earn good money in
short
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a short
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 period of time.
for
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instance
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,instance
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 a labourer who
work
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works
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 on daily wages could not fulfil the dreams of his family like providing education to his infants in prosperous
instituions
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institutions
, going for dinner in rich class hotels, big house or luxuries life.
as a result
Linking Words
 just to live
this
Linking Words
 type of life they just did
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Add an article
the crime
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crime
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crimes
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 for their families. so for these
type
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types
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 of
cases
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,cases
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 death
Correct your spelling
penalty
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penality
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penalty
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 is a very big
punishment
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 for them because
by
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apply
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giving capital
punisments
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punishment
punishments
 to them will have
harmful
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a harmful
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 effect on their back families.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that capital
punishment
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 is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is
an
Change the article
apply
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effective to stop major crimes. The best method to prevent a person from committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
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 is to show the consequences of his or her actions.
For example
Linking Words
, the government of Pakistan has controlled the rate of terrorism by enforcing death penalties for the members of terrorist organisations.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the governments spend large sums of
national
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the national
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 budget on
maintenance
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the maintenance
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 of prisoners.
Instead
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 money can be used for the development of the society and welfare of the people. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages, I think that it proves to be the best way of controlling criminals, lessening governmental expenses and preventing other people from doing crimes.
Submitted by harpalsinghpurewal on

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