Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is argued that

although

Linking Words

nations where folks spend more hours on

work

Use synonyms

are financially prosperous, it

also

Linking Words

has a bad social effect on these populations.

This

Linking Words

essay totally agrees with that statement because not only family life is disturbed but

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

affects detrimentally on mental well-being of an individual. First of all, when

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

show examples

more time at their workplace, their family life is disturbed.

That is

Linking Words

because they do not have extra

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

show examples

for leisure activities with their families and

this

Linking Words

impacts their homes negatively and results in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of bad consequences.

For example

Linking Words

, WHO recently published a report indicating that divorce rates are much higher in places where employees

work

Use synonyms

for more than 60 hours per week on average. Another important factor is that working for longer durations

also

Linking Words

has a bad psychological impact on an individual. When someone works for extended shifts, it affects his or her body negatively and

also

Linking Words

people who usually

work

Use synonyms

more have less time for themselves.

As a result

Linking Words

, these folk get tired easily and feel frequent burnout earlier in life.

For instance

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

show examples

survey conducted by a company in Japan found out that their employees who do not take appropriate rest days and vacations on time are unable to cope with the mental stress

as well as

Linking Words

compared to those who take regular rests. In conclusion, nations where people

work

Use synonyms

more without taking proper

moment

Fix the agreement mistake

moments

show examples

off have higher social problems because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad family activity and

psychological

Correct article usage

the psychological

show examples

impact of longer working hours.

saadanwer89Sun Nov 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the points flow logically. Consider elaborating on how mental well-being impacts economic productivity to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

Expand on the connection between long working hours and economic success by considering other socioeconomic factors that might contribute to this prosperity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through the argument.

task achievement

The example of WHO's report on divorce rates and the survey in Japan provide strong, relevant support for the main ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Average working time
Economically successful
Negative social consequences
Employee burnout
Competitive edge
Global markets
Consumer spending
Productivity
Work-life balance
Mental health issues
Community ties
Societal well-being

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