Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
It is argued that
although
nations where folks spend more hours on work
are financially prosperous, it also
has a bad social effect on these populations. This
essay totally agrees with that statement because not only family life is disturbed but this
also
affects detrimentally on mental well-being of an individual.
First of all, when public
Correct article usage
the public
spend
more time at their workplace, their family life is disturbed. Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
That is
because they do not have extra hour
for leisure activities with their families and Fix the agreement mistake
hours
this
impacts their homes negatively and results in the
number of bad consequences. Correct article usage
a
For example
, WHO recently published a report indicating that divorce rates are much higher in places where employees work
for more than 60 hours per week on average.
Another important factor is that working for longer durations also
has a bad psychological impact on an individual. When someone works for extended shifts, it affects his or her body negatively and also
people who usually work
more have less time for themselves. As a result
, these folk get tired easily and feel frequent burnout earlier in life. For instance
, the
survey conducted by a company in Japan found out that their employees who do not take appropriate rest days and vacations on time are unable to cope with the mental stress Correct article usage
a
as well as
compared to those who take regular rests.
In conclusion, nations where people work
more without taking proper moment
off have higher social problems because of Fix the agreement mistake
moments
the
bad family activity and Correct article usage
apply
psychological
impact of longer working hours.Correct article usage
the psychological
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the points flow logically. Consider elaborating on how mental well-being impacts economic productivity to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Expand on the connection between long working hours and economic success by considering other socioeconomic factors that might contribute to this prosperity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through the argument.
task achievement
The example of WHO's report on divorce rates and the survey in Japan provide strong, relevant support for the main ideas.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?