Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
although
Linking Words
nations where folks spend more hours on
work
Use synonyms
are financially prosperous, it
also
Linking Words
has a bad social effect on these populations.
This
Linking Words
essay totally agrees with that statement because not only family life is disturbed but
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
affects detrimentally on mental well-being of an individual. First of all, when
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
more time at their workplace, their family life is disturbed.
That is
Linking Words
because they do not have extra
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
for leisure activities with their families and
this
Linking Words
impacts their homes negatively and results in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of bad consequences.
For example
Linking Words
, WHO recently published a report indicating that divorce rates are much higher in places where employees
work
Use synonyms
for more than 60 hours per week on average. Another important factor is that working for longer durations
also
Linking Words
has a bad psychological impact on an individual. When someone works for extended shifts, it affects his or her body negatively and
also
Linking Words
people who usually
work
Use synonyms
more have less time for themselves.
As a result
Linking Words
, these folk get tired easily and feel frequent burnout earlier in life.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
survey conducted by a company in Japan found out that their employees who do not take appropriate rest days and vacations on time are unable to cope with the mental stress
as well as
Linking Words
compared to those who take regular rests. In conclusion, nations where people
work
Use synonyms
more without taking proper
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
off have higher social problems because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad family activity and
psychological
Correct article usage
the psychological
show examples
impact of longer working hours.
Submitted by saadanwer89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the points flow logically. Consider elaborating on how mental well-being impacts economic productivity to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Expand on the connection between long working hours and economic success by considering other socioeconomic factors that might contribute to this prosperity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through the argument.
task achievement
The example of WHO's report on divorce rates and the survey in Japan provide strong, relevant support for the main ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average working time
  • Economically successful
  • Negative social consequences
  • Employee burnout
  • Competitive edge
  • Global markets
  • Consumer spending
  • Productivity
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental health issues
  • Community ties
  • Societal well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: