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Band 3

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education
Nowadays, crime rates are
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 globally. Everyone is aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the penalties they receive if they offend any
mistakes
. Despite
this
,
people
 are still offensive. So, I strongly disagree with the view of stopping jail punishment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
 topic in detail in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, irrespective of qualifications
people
 are doing crimes. So, educating the
people
 after committing some
mistakes
 will not be
worth
Correct pronoun usage
itworth
show examples
. Perhaps, assisting the person to realize his
mistakes
 can bring some positive
change
 in him.
However
, chances are less because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many are re_offending
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
mistakes
 after knowing about the intensity of that. To summarize, not all persons can
change
 by education. To continue with, many are doing crimes to seek power in society. So, these humans will not
change
 by training. Because they are more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 what they are doing and they are not afraid
also
.
However
,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
people
 should be punished without
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
 thought. To exemplify, Abhaya raped case victims were not even guilty
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
, they were well known about the
cruelty
Add an article
the cruelty
show examples
 of crime they had committed. So that, these categories of criminals should not
left
Change the verb form
leave
be left
show examples
 alone without penalties. To sum up, we live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 world, where humans lack humanity. So punishing them for their
mistakes
 are the right option for realization.
However
, I disagree with the point that, training or education can
change
 a criminal.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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