IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the environmental problem is worse and extreme climbing is the best solution. In my perspective, I suppose that there are some positive aspects and drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 solution. On the one hand, rising
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fantastic way
that is
Linking Words
 attributed to the creation of a fresh atmosphere.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that using tons of
fuel
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
causes air pollution, greenhouse effect with incredibly increases carbon dioxide. When the government raises the
cost
Use synonyms
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
, the amount
people
Use synonyms
 use for their own transportation will sharply decrease or they will try to figure out alternative
fuel
Use synonyms
 that has a reasonable price which is beneficial for protecting the environment.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays in some countries, they use
alternate
Replace the word
alternative
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 to create electricity which is wind
energy
Use synonyms
. Compared to electric
energy
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, wind
energy
Use synonyms
 is absolutely cheap and friendly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, looking at the general situation in the world, when the government decides to lift up the
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
, which is the most vulnerable for human’s lives which dramatically falls the production of some human’s industries . There is no doubt that transportation is totally essential,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 need their own vehicles to solve their private circumstances so if they try to climb the
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
, some poor
people
Use synonyms
 who just have a moderate salary will not withstand
this
Linking Words
 difficulty.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of social needs, it is quite hard to find something that alters
fuel
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2018, the percentage of profit in
vietnam
Change the capitalization
Vietnam
show examples
 reached the highest point. We know that
fuel
Use synonyms
 plays a fundamental role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 proceeding
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 flight. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 increasing the
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
 will resolve some dangerous environmental issues, we can understand the importance of
fuel
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
Submitted by plt13112001 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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