In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In many nations, extremely high salaries have long been limited to a small number of
people
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. A school of thought holds that a country can benefit from
such
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a privilege,
while
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others opine that there should be a standard on
salary
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level.
This
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essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding my own standpoint. On the one hand, proponents suggest that there should be a restriction on the number of well-paid earners. High income can act as a measurament for individual's talent in solving tasks, collaboration, or their contributions to the company. In light of
this
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, the executives and leaders can filter out the most competent and qualified candidates by judging the salaries
people
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earn.
Such
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consideration is essential, especially for major works that require skilled techniques or overwhelming academic research.
Furthermore
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, limiting the number of high-income individuals supports a country's budget and facilitates its leading economic pillars. Rather than relocate money equally to all kinds of
people
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, including ordinary and incompetent, authorities can invest in high-quality employees, who often ensure more efficient and less time-consuming results. In the long run, they could help their country to thrive economically,
as well as
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welcome foreign investments and international working relationships.
On the other hand
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, opponents highlight a prevention on earnings levels as disparities in income could lay the foundation for social instability.
While
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many exert themselves on applying for jobs with suitable payment, changing behaviours, and upgrading skills, they mainly have a tough life, where money can only serve subsistence. Since some have already earned
such
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exceedingly high incomes, others' salaries must be decreased to balance the total budget of an organisation or the government. The consequences are undeniably gloomy. Confrontation could happen when fighting for a person's income benefits, distrust in authorities and leaders might be aggravated, and the ultimate social injustice emerges , only to gradually destroy the national welfare system.
Therefore
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, I am convinced that criteria on
salary
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levels are essential for countries and their citizens.
Although
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this
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poses a financial challenge to talented and potential
people
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, the minority should serve the majority to sustain the long-term stability of the whole community. In conclusion,
while
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many are in favour of limited exceptional
salary
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earners, others prefer the opposite. Given the ramifications of social unrest, I am in sides with an outright imposition of certain
salary
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standards

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task response
Answer both sides more directly. You did this, but some parts do not fully match the question about very high salaries.
task response
Add one clear example for each main view. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your opinion in a simpler and more direct way. Your view is there, but some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part of the body. A few ideas are mixed together, so the line of thought is not always clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some are good, but too many long phrases make the essay less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some sentences do not follow each other in a clear way, so the reader may need to read again.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with two body paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
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