In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#parts #world #research #history #one’s #people #development

With the development of technology, it is now possible for people to study the

history

of their ancestors. There are several rationales that encourage modern citizens to

conduct

this

research

Change preposition

From

show examples

my perspective, I assume that

this

may be a breakthrough movement of human beings to identify their roots. In

this

essay, I shall put forth some ideas to exemplify

this

positive development with some lucid examples. At

first,

tracing back the

history

of a family can aid descendants in understanding thoroughly their ancestors

as well as

locate

Wrong verb form

locating

show examples

distant relatives.

For instance

, studying the root of family members may not only assist historians in identifying more information on the

history

of their countries

as well as

help royal members locate their distant intimates.

As a result

, the

research

may play a pivotal role in maintaining the

root

Fix the agreement mistake

roots

show examples

of royal families to consecutive generations.

Additionally

, in big families with

hundred

Correct your spelling

hundreds

show examples

of members,

research

on the family

history

may be vital to draw the family tree, which is a useful graph that helps younger generations acknowledge their ancestors and roots.

On the other hand

, it is not always possible for normal inhabitants to

conduct

this

type of study as not all people can afford it. In fact, one often needs to spend an abundant amount of money to hire historian specialists and experienced researchers to

conduct

this

type of

research

Moreover

, it often takes a lot of time and resources and not many families are patient to wait for the results.

In addition

this

, not all the results can bring positive results to one family and may affect one 's life.

For example

, if an individual is found to be closely connected to the royal family, his daily life may be influenced and disturbed by curious journalists who want to

conduct

interviews and investigate his personal life. In conclusion,

while

I believe that learning the

history

of a family may bring valuable information that helps offspring understand thoroughly their roots, it is

also

worth considering the challenges that it may bring.

Submitted by npanhtuan09 on Tue Sep 07 2021

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Task Response

Your response provides a mix of relevant and irrelevant information. Ensure your ideas directly address the given question. Focus on providing clear and comprehensive ideas that directly answer the essay prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay has a logical structure, there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. Ensure that your ideas are linked, and the progression of ideas is clear to the reader. Additionally, pay attention to the use of cohesive devices to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

Your use of vocabulary is varied and includes some less common lexical items. However, there are also instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to precise word choice and ensure that your vocabulary enhances the clarity and accuracy of your essay.

Grammatical Range

There is a range of complex and simple sentences used throughout the essay. However, there are also some grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. Review your use of punctuation, tenses, and sentence structure for improved grammatical accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is more important to have a good family than to have friends. Family can always compensate for absence of friendship. To what extent do you agree or disagree?