In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

It is undeniable that the
sports
programs on
television
at the present are the most popular, and there is continuous broadcasting on
television
around the world. While some people think that
this
situation can discourage many
children
from participating in
sports
activities by themselves. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
viewpoint for many reasons which will be outlined in the detail in the following paragraph.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
my opinion, I think that the
sports
programs on
television
can offer advantages rather than disadvantages for young people.
For example
, it can support
children
rather than discourage them,
such
as many kids watch some
sports
programs on their TV, like the swimming competition program, they may interest in swimming
sport
after they watched.
Additionally
, it can create a lot of knowledge about
sports
skills to adapt in their
sports
activities in real life.
In addition
, I believe that these
sport
shows on
television
can make a lot of motivation for many
children
, nowadays,
for instance
, when
children
watch these
sport
shows they may want to make
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
as an athlete of that kind
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
like many
children
want to be a football player like David Beckham.
Furthermore
, these
sport
shows can make them feel
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
closer to their favourite athlete, and they will feel like playing
sports
more due to the kids will think that playing
sport
is cool. In conclusion, I strongly think that the
sport
shows on
television
can make more and more benefits for everyone in society because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inspiration for anybody.
Therefore
, it is commended that parents and other people in their family should support and encourage their kids to watch these
sport
shows on
television
, but parents should take
children
to watch TV in moderation time.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: