In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#parts #world #coverage #sport #television #people #part

It is undeniable that the

sports

programs on

television

at the present are the most popular, and there is continuous broadcasting on

television

around the world. While some people think that

this

situation can discourage many

children

from participating in

sports

activities by themselves. From my point of view, I disagree with

this

viewpoint for many reasons which will be outlined in the detail in the following paragraph.

From

Change the preposition

show examples

my opinion, I think that the

sports

programs on

television

can offer advantages rather than disadvantages for young people.

For example

, it can support

children

rather than discourage them,

such

as many kids watch some

sports

programs on their TV, like the swimming competition program, they may interest in swimming

sport

after they watched.

Additionally

, it can create a lot of knowledge about

sports

skills to adapt in their

sports

activities in real life.

In addition

, I believe that these

sport

shows on

television

can make a lot of motivation for many

children

, nowadays,

for instance

, when

children

watch these

sport

shows they may want to make

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

as an athlete of that kind

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

like many

children

want to be a football player like David Beckham.

Furthermore

, these

sport

shows can make them feel

Change preposition

apply

show examples

closer to their favourite athlete, and they will feel like playing

sports

more due to the kids will think that playing

sport

is cool. In conclusion, I strongly think that the

sport

shows on

television

can make more and more benefits for everyone in society because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can build

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

inspiration for anybody.

Therefore

, it is commended that parents and other people in their family should support and encourage their kids to watch these

sport

shows on

television

, but parents should take

children

to watch TV in moderation time.

Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on Tue Sep 07 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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