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Band 6.5

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#parts #world #coverage #sport #television #people #part
It is undeniable that the
sports
 programs on
television
 at the present are the most popular, and there is continuous broadcasting on
television
 around the world. While some people think that
this
 situation can discourage many
children
 from participating in
sports
 activities by themselves. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
 viewpoint for many reasons which will be outlined in the detail in the following paragraph.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I think that the
sports
 programs on
television
 can offer advantages rather than disadvantages for young people.
For example
, it can support
children
 rather than discourage them,
such
 as many kids watch some
sports
 programs on their TV, like the swimming competition program, they may interest in swimming
sport
 after they watched.
Additionally
, it can create a lot of knowledge about
sports
 skills to adapt in their
sports
 activities in real life.
In addition
, I believe that these
sport
 shows on
television
 can make a lot of motivation for many
children
, nowadays,
for instance
, when
children
 watch these
sport
 shows they may want to make
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 as an athlete of that kind
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 like many
children
 want to be a football player like David Beckham.
Furthermore
, these
sport
 shows can make them feel
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
closer to their favourite athlete, and they will feel like playing
sports
 more due to the kids will think that playing
sport
 is cool. In conclusion, I strongly think that the
sport
 shows on
television
 can make more and more benefits for everyone in society because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inspiration for anybody.
Therefore
, it is commended that parents and other people in their family should support and encourage their kids to watch these
sport
 shows on
television
, but parents should take
children
 to watch TV in moderation time.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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