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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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It
is consider
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is considered
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 by some people that prolonging imprisonment
sentence
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sentences
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 would assist in lowering the
crime
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 level, while others think there are other different methods of reducing
crime
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. In my opinion, I believe that the former statement would not necessarily help,
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instead
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ofinstead
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 educational
programs
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 would be beneficial for non-violent
crimes
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. For those who believe that increasing the
prison
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 sentences for
serious
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the serious
a serious
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 and inhuman
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crime
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crimes
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 would be appropriate. Some prisoners have no
remose
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remorse
remote
 for criminal acts they have done,
therefore
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 it is in the best interest of the community that they are not released to the public.
Instead
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 extending their
prison
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 sentences would suit
best
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them best
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 suited.
For instance
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,
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second time
Add a hyphen
second-time
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 offenders
such
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 as
arsonal
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personal
 or an accomplish to murder are usually handed
a longer
Correct the article-noun agreement
longer prison sentences
a longer prison sentence
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prison
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 sentences so these offenders would not repeat the act.
On the other hand
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, petty
crimes
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such
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 as theft
does
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do
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 not warrant a
prison
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 sentence.
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Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
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 the government should develop educational
programs
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. These
programs
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 help people to enter
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as proper citizens.
For example
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, petty thefts are usually carried by children who cannot afford school,
therefore
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,
this
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 program would help pay these children to go to school.
For instance
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, Boston, NY had reported a reduction in petty
crime
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 when similar
programs
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where
Correct your spelling
were
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initated
Correct your spelling
initiated
. These
programs
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 help take the kids off the street and give them a purpose in life. In conclusion, giving
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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prison
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 sentence would be appropriate only for serious
crimes
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,
therefore
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, in my opinion, small
crimes
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such
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 as theft
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not require
such
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 an action.
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Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
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 government should arrange educations
programs
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 so that these
helps
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help
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, especially children to get off the street.
Submitted by arthurhewz on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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