In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost everything they want.

#countries #children #rules #behaviour

Children are the future of our world.

Countries

have their own ways of how to mould them to the future. Some

countries

follow very disciplinary methods, whereas others use minimum barriers for

kids

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this essay. Consider adding a comma.

show examples

I would like to explain to what extent should we control the blooming flowers. On the one hand, many

countries

including most of the

third

world

countries

believe imposing strict rules for children is the only way to create a complete man. Even so, according to researches, it causes an adverse impact on youth. For ,example

kids

who are facing lots of restrictions at home will do lots of notorious work once they try to socialize with others.

Such

as, they may get addicted to drugs and other possible illegal activities.

Moreover

, they start opposing their parents’ decisions once they grow up.

This

could destroy their whole future in a split

second

. The main reason for these scenarios is a lack of social knowledge, I believe.

On the other hand

, giving too much

freedom

also

Add a missing verb

is also

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples

not advised. The main reason is once the

kids

get lots of

freedom

, it is hard to control them once they grew up.

This

will mainly impact their lives. For instinct, imagine they get unlimited time to play video games without doing any studies. They would be literally destroying their lives. To conclude, giving too much

freedom

or implying too many restrictions will destroy children’s lives.

Therefore

, there should be a balance of

freedom

and restrictions have to involve producing beautiful, disciplinary

kids

to the world.

Submitted by mahen527 on Wed Sep 08 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online

Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 7.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question

7.5

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word Count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The Internet will never replace traditional course books in schools.
There is a huge range of resources available to the modern teacher, and the right selection is crucial in delivering effective lessons. I agree that there will always be a place for course
5.5
band
. The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?
It is thought by some people that English, which is now the most widely spoken language in the world, may one day predominate over all other languages and result in their eventual disappearance. Having one language would certainly aid understanding and economic growth but there will also be some drawbacks.
5.5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
It is one of the main problems that face all the world not only in recent years but all ages. Now I will discuss the major reasons that lead to famine.
7.5
band
In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property?
Nowadays in many countries, people choose to rent an apartment or house because of the overpriced housing. I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks in the below paragraphs along with my own opinion.
4
band
"Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay"
It is certainly said that learning is an ongoing process .Every person learn something new according to their age, experience knowledge and education. According to my point of view it is always better to have _teacher or guide for study.

Type your essay and get a band score instantly

Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost everything they want.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The Internet will never replace traditional course books in schools.

. The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property?

"Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay"