Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. It is regarded that travelling is
exciting
Add an article
an exciting
show examples
and powerful action, while another group of
people
consider that tour the world is a worthless process, detrimental to human’s life.
This
essay will discuss both points of view in
further
paragraphs.
To begin
with, travelling around the Earth admits
people
to enhance
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
and improve languages. During the
trip
Add a comma
,trip
show examples
person can obtain
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
nation’s cognition, experience and
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
peculiarities.
Moreover
, tourists have
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
and luck to apply the received learnings and skills in daily life.
For instance
, there are school programs, where students might have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
to visit exterior countries and study abroad. In brief, teenagers learn by hard definite languages, get to know the culture and style of living of foreigners.
Nevertheless
, it cannot be disclaimed that globetrotting widely around the world
also
can harmful to influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's financial status. Obviously, all trips lead to constant consumption of savings because of long distances.
For example
, tours contain flights and airfare prices are large numbers, which grow over the years. If
people
will regularly visit diverse areas, it might injure
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
stability unexpectedly. In my point of view, a
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
needs to have constant and large income for
further
development. To summarize, I particularly believe that
people
should grow in
any
Correct your spelling
anyways
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
and travelling
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
an exception. I feel really passionately about travelling, reformation thinking and negotiation.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: