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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some think secondary and high school students should be allowed to choose academic courses leading to university or practical courses leading to careers such as carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #school #students #courses #university #careers #carpenters
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Secondary and high
school
 students are still at a young age, which is great for developing ideas and finding the way that their life is going to be based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
As a result
,
this
 factor made some people wonder if those kids should be able to take courses for their higher
education
 or not. In
this
 essay, I am going to cover the reasons which make me think that
this
 is certainly a good idea.
To begin
 with, individuals who are still in secondary or especially high
school
, need to know about the atmosphere of a
university
 or college if they are planning to get a higher
education
 degree. As we all know, the experience of studying in
school
 is completely different
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 what we get from an average
university
, because
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 is a bigger and more professional place. In detail, by enabling youngsters to experience what it feels
to
Change preposition
like to
show examples
 be in a
university
, they can get prepared before entering it.
This
 helps them to benefit more from higher
education
 as they do not have to deal with the changes going from
school
 to
such
 a professional workplace.
Secondly
, the age of those young people is golden for learning because they are free and do not have to be concerned about anything yet as they are still carried by parents.
Also
, at teen ages, people often get confused
due to
 the variety of options presented to them and they basically struggle to find the best route for themselves. So, by having the option to study a higher degree course, they get a clear view of the road they have to choose, leading to more efficient decisions when it comes to choosing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 major or
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 future career. In conclusion, I agree with the statement because in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is best to give the individuals who want to enter a career or get a higher
education
, the chance to experience it as it leads to better decisions and gives them a clear look at the way.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your reasoning and provide a clearer illustration of your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a single clear idea. The second paragraph could be split into two to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
coherence cohesion
You have maintained a logical flow throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view and covers the main points related to the task prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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