In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, in many countries celebrities, can considered to be role models and they have tremendous impact on young

generation

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. In my opinion

that is

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negative development because their main goal is entertainment and amuse

people

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moreover

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most of them lead detrimental

Life

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style and promote bad values. First reason why i think that it is negative development is that main goal of celebrities is ammas as much attention as it is possible. In order to achieve that the can perform some silly and scandal acts, which will be imitated by young

generation

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because they can not distinguish bad from good yet.

For example

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: there is fighting promotion Hardcore where a lot of famous

people

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can fight, so in most cases before thier bout the celebrities make brawls, insult each other, and because of

this

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show, a lot of young

People

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in Russia perceived that as normal, and the frequency of mugging, abusing and bullying has risen dramatically in the Russia among young

generation

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Although

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in my point of view

that is

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negative tendency,

however

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some of the famous

people

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such

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as Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson can really help out to improve

life

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or give advice how to behave and how to lead healthy

life

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to new

generation

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For example

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: Andrew Tate assisted a million of lost teenagers, and young

people

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how to make money and how to get confidence. In my conclusion,

although

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in major cases,

that is

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very sad that youth's exposed to influence of famous figures because their main purpose to get more attention, so they can do everything to obtain that.

Moreover

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they can promote disgusting values.

However

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there some famous figures who can propaganda and try to help young

people

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in all aspects of their

life

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, from personal

life

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to career

makemoneyizzy16Tue May 21 2024

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task response

Ensure consistency in your argumentation. While it's good you mentioned both positive and negative influences of celebrities, the examples need to be more balanced and better integrated into the essay to support your thesis.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure to make your ideas clearer. Breaking longer sentences into shorter ones can often improve comprehension. Additionally, avoid minor errors in grammar and punctuation.

introduction conclusion

The introduction effectively sets up the topic and your opinion on it.

relevant specific examples

You have provided specific examples to support your points, which enhances the task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
celebrity culture
aspirational
negative influences
unrealistic body images
discernment
amplifying
guidance
perceptions
activism
charity work
overshadowing
endorsements
consumer behavior

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In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?

You are due to start new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter: • Explain your situation • Describe your problems • Tell him or her when you think you can start.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?