In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

#parts #world #people #‘role #models’ #influence #development

Nowadays, in many countries celebrities, can considered to be role models and they have tremendous impact on young

generation

. In my opinion

that is

negative development because their main goal is entertainment and amuse

people

moreover

most of them lead detrimental

Life

style and promote bad values. First reason why i think that it is negative development is that main goal of celebrities is ammas as much attention as it is possible. In order to achieve that the can perform some silly and scandal acts, which will be imitated by young

generation

because they can not distinguish bad from good yet.

For example

: there is fighting promotion Hardcore where a lot of famous

people

can fight, so in most cases before thier bout the celebrities make brawls, insult each other, and because of

this

show, a lot of young

People

in Russia perceived that as normal, and the frequency of mugging, abusing and bullying has risen dramatically in the Russia among young

generation

Although

in my point of view

that is

negative tendency,

however

some of the famous

people

such

as Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson can really help out to improve

life

or give advice how to behave and how to lead healthy

life

to new

generation

For example

: Andrew Tate assisted a million of lost teenagers, and young

people

how to make money and how to get confidence. In my conclusion,

although

in major cases,

that is

very sad that youth's exposed to influence of famous figures because their main purpose to get more attention, so they can do everything to obtain that.

Moreover

they can promote disgusting values.

However

there some famous figures who can propaganda and try to help young

people

in all aspects of their

life

, from personal

life

to career

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue May 21 2024

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task response

Ensure consistency in your argumentation. While it's good you mentioned both positive and negative influences of celebrities, the examples need to be more balanced and better integrated into the essay to support your thesis.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure to make your ideas clearer. Breaking longer sentences into shorter ones can often improve comprehension. Additionally, avoid minor errors in grammar and punctuation.

introduction conclusion

The introduction effectively sets up the topic and your opinion on it.

relevant specific examples

You have provided specific examples to support your points, which enhances the task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
celebrity culture
aspirational
negative influences
unrealistic body images
discernment
amplifying
guidance
perceptions
activism
charity work
overshadowing
endorsements
consumer behavior

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In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.