In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, in many countries celebrities, can considered to be role models and they have tremendous impact on young
generation
. In my opinion Use synonyms
that is
negative development because their main goal is entertainment and amuse Linking Words
people
, Use synonyms
moreover
most of them lead detrimental Linking Words
Life
style and promote bad values.
First reason why i think that it is negative development is that main goal of celebrities is ammas as much attention as it is possible. In order to achieve that the can perform some silly and scandal acts, which will be imitated by young Use synonyms
generation
because they can not distinguish bad from good yet. Use synonyms
For example
: there is fighting promotion Hardcore where a lot of famous Linking Words
people
can fight, so in most cases before thier bout the celebrities make brawls, insult each other, and because of Use synonyms
this
show, a lot of young Linking Words
People
in Russia perceived that as normal, and the frequency of mugging, abusing and bullying has risen dramatically in the Russia among young Use synonyms
generation
.
Use synonyms
Although
in my point of view Linking Words
that is
negative tendency, Linking Words
however
some of the famous Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
such
as Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson can really help out to improve Linking Words
life
or give advice how to behave and how to lead healthy Use synonyms
life
to new Use synonyms
generation
. Use synonyms
For example
: Andrew Tate assisted a million of lost teenagers, and young Linking Words
people
how to make money and how to get confidence.
In my conclusion, Use synonyms
although
in major cases, Linking Words
that is
very sad that youth's exposed to influence of famous figures because their main purpose to get more attention, so they can do everything to obtain that. Linking Words
Moreover
they can promote disgusting values. Linking Words
However
there some famous figures who can propaganda and try to help young Linking Words
people
in all aspects of their Use synonyms
life
, from personal Use synonyms
life
to careerUse synonyms
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task response
Ensure consistency in your argumentation. While it's good you mentioned both positive and negative influences of celebrities, the examples need to be more balanced and better integrated into the essay to support your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to make your ideas clearer. Breaking longer sentences into shorter ones can often improve comprehension. Additionally, avoid minor errors in grammar and punctuation.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and your opinion on it.
relevant specific examples
You have provided specific examples to support your points, which enhances the task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.