IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so, and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours?

#people #close #relationship #neighbours #contact
Currently is well know that a huge number of
people
 spends less time with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 than they used to do in the previous generation. There are a huge variety of motives why it happens.
However
, as far as I am concern two main reasons could explain it. The
first
 one is because nowadays
people
 are busy with their own lives and the majority of
people
 have been living in a huge condominium, like a city, where a thousand
people
 live as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 it is extremely difficult to meet each other.
To begin
 with, the
first
 reason,
people
 are extremely busy nowadays if we compare it with the past.
For example
, when I was a child, my mother did not work out of home, and she used to spend all day at home, the same situation happened with our
next
-door
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
,
consequently
, they used to make friendship effortless. But unfortunately, today my life is completely different from the life of my mother. I work in an office, and I usually arrived home late every day
thus
 I do not have time to meet better who my
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 are. To solve situations like that I believe
people
 should try to meet their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 as they can help each other in different situations. Another cause for
this
 problem is that
people
 have been living, here in São Paulo is quite common, in a huge condominium, where, live a plethora of
people
, and most of them had moved after getting married.
As a result
, having a good friendship with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 is almost impossible. To minimize
this
 situation, I believe that the condo should periodically propose, a kind of celebration at the party hall in order to give an opportunity
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
meet
Fix the infinitive
to meet
show examples
 better each other. In conclusion, losing the relationship with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 is a problem since when they have
closer
Add an article
a closer
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
, they can build a sense of community in that
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
. Sometimes,
people
 live in different cities of their relatives and
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 are the only person who can help them.
However
, a simple change in their daily habits and a bit of effort is the probable solutions to the matter.
Submitted by raquel.santosprudente on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: