IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week.Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

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It is undeniable that
people
Use synonyms
 now can use their mobile phones to answer the call at any time of the day. While it is argued that
this
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 may have a negative impact on both individuals and society, I believe that the benefits it brings are far more significant. On the one hand, mobile
phone
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 is believed to draw certain drawbacks when it is overused for
phone
Use synonyms
 calls.
That is
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 to say, these calls may disturb
people
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’s lives.
For instance
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, a late-night call may disrupt a person sleep and make him tired the
next
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 day. If
this
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 situation happens repeatedly, his physical and mental health may be negatively affected. What’s more, an increasing number of
people
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 are too dependent on
phone
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 calls that they ignore face-to-face meetings, which will lead to a lack of social interaction.
On the other hand
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, I am of the opinion that mobile
phone
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 does offer a variety of benefits.
Firstly
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,
this
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 technology device help bring
people
Use synonyms
 closer.
For example
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, when students study far from home,
phone
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 calls may support them in updating their situation so that their family members do not have to worry much about their children.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it helps
people
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 to handle their work more quickly. Take a logistic company as an example. The employee there can report delivery problems immediately through
phone
Use synonyms
 calls
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that the company has the opportunity to update the state of the customer’s products timely. All in all,
although
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 receiving too many
phone
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 calls may bother
people
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, I am of the opinion that cell phones can elevate a higher quality of life.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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