Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, people have

inclined

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been inclined

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to spend their holidays by visiting amusement

parks

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because they are able to explore various kinds of

ocean

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creatures

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Change preposition

show examples

one place. Some argue that it is beneficial to

public

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the public

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if these

animals

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are moved from the

ocean

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and placed in

parks

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while others disagree with

this

Linking Words

contention.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. Critics of

this

Linking Words

opinion are of the belief that keeping sea

creatures

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in amusement

parks

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is more advantageous for the purpose of people's recreation.

Firstly

Linking Words

public

Correct article usage

the public

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from

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show examples

all ages can discover unique species and learn about their

behaviors

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behaviours

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, characteristics.

Secondly

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, they are likely to experience the connection with

the

Correct article usage

apply

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mother nature itself. To illustrate, children might be the most beneficial age group because they can easily remember and identify these

animals

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by looking at them in

parks

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rather than watching visuals in books.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some

believe

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belief

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in placing

ocean

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creatures

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parks

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On the contrary

Linking Words

other

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others

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do not support

this

Linking Words

statement since not all recreational areas are well developed to be considered a convenient habitat for

ocean

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Correct your spelling

wildlife

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wild

Correct your spelling

wildlife

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life

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Additionally

Linking Words

, they might be kept in captivity.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it may hamper their growth and health.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, moving

animals

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from

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ocean

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the ocean

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will probably create an imbalance in an

environment

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environmental

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life

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cycle. For an instance,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

recent research shows that in the pacific

ocean

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the

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number of salmon

fishes

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fish

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has

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have

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decreased dramatically which affected other sea

animals

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' food

chain

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chains

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Hence

Linking Words

, some opine that

this

Linking Words

movement

migh

Correct your spelling

might

have more demerits than benefits. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ocean

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

wildlife

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wild

Correct your spelling

wildlife

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life

Use synonyms

in amusement

parks

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can be used for people's recreation, it may disturb an

environment

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environmental

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life

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cycle and deteriorate

animals

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' health who are in cages. In my opinion, it is the government's

responsibilty

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responsibility

to impose strict rules on the park authorities so that they keep

creatures

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in a suitable atmosphere, provide

a healthy food

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healthy food

a portion of healthy food

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and do not move them from the

ocean

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parks

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above

certain

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a certain

show examples

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

jaimineekataria123Wed Sep 08 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that government should spend more on public services rather than wasting money on arts. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.