Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#move #ocean #creatures #habitat #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people’s #recreation #outweigh

In recent years, people have

inclined

Add a missing verb

been inclined

show examples

to spend their holidays by visiting amusement

parks

because they are able to explore various kinds of

ocean

creatures

Change preposition

show examples

one place. Some argue that it is beneficial to

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

if these

animals

are moved from the

ocean

and placed in

parks

while others disagree with

this

contention.

This

essay will discuss why the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. Critics of

this

opinion are of the belief that keeping sea

creatures

in amusement

parks

is more advantageous for the purpose of people's recreation.

Firstly

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

all ages can discover unique species and learn about their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, characteristics.

Secondly

, they are likely to experience the connection with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mother nature itself. To illustrate, children might be the most beneficial age group because they can easily remember and identify these

animals

by looking at them in

parks

rather than watching visuals in books.

Therefore

, some

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

in placing

ocean

creatures

parks

On the contrary

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

do not support

this

statement since not all recreational areas are well developed to be considered a convenient habitat for

ocean

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

wild

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

life

Additionally

, they might be kept in captivity.

Consequently

, it may hamper their growth and health.

Furthermore

, moving

animals

from

ocean

Add an article

the ocean

show examples

will probably create an imbalance in an

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

life

cycle. For an instance,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

recent research shows that in the pacific

ocean

Change the article

the

show examples

number of salmon

fishes

Fix the agreement mistake

fish

show examples

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

decreased dramatically which affected other sea

animals

' food

chain

Fix the agreement mistake

chains

show examples

Hence

, some opine that

this

movement

migh

Correct your spelling

might

have more demerits than benefits. In conclusion,

although

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ocean

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

wild

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

life

in amusement

parks

can be used for people's recreation, it may disturb an

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

life

cycle and deteriorate

animals

' health who are in cages. In my opinion, it is the government's

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

to impose strict rules on the park authorities so that they keep

creatures

in a suitable atmosphere, provide

a healthy food

Remove the article

healthy food

a portion of healthy food

show examples

and do not move them from the

ocean

parks

above

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

Submitted by jaimineekataria123 on Wed Sep 08 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Q. The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

You had a problem while staying at a hotel and the receptionist was very helpful. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter, – describe the problem that you had – explain how the receptionist helped you – suggest ways to prevent the problem from happening again.