IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
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Life is too short and uncertain. Within that short period of
time
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,time
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 it is better to stay healthier as much as we can as
the
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apply
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health
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 is one of the major concerns for every living creature. Do anybody like to stay in a hospital for
one
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one-third
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third
Linking Words
 of their lives?. The answer
of
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to
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 most minds jump is, no. So, as human
beings
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,beings
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 it is clear that keeping away from
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health related
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health-related
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 obstacles and diseases is vital than spending
lifetime
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a lifetime
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 with endless medical remedies. Globally, each country’s
government
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 directing their money on behalf of
this
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. I completely agree with the above statement and in
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will explain why it is.
Firstly
Linking Words
, every
people
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 should aware of the importance of being healthier;
moreover
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, there will not
any
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be any
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 effect of doing any kind of things to boost fitness and
health
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should enhance
variety
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a variety
the variety
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 of programs, campaigns, advertisements to convince
people
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the
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of the
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 benefits of protecting from diseases rather than living with medical treatments.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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 can elaborate and show
people
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 how they would suffer from being unhealthy, not only physically but
also
Linking Words
 mentally too.
This
Linking Words
 is mostly because of the cost
for
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of
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 medicine and machines engaging with treatments.
For example
Linking Words
, it is very expensive to do a treatment like
,
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apply
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 Chemotherapy and painful too. If more
people
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familiar
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are familiar
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 with
such
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 things,
consequently
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
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more
people
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 would allure to protect. In conclusion, it was clearly argued that get
avoid
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avoids
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 from illnesses and
health
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 problems is crucial than being treated for
long
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lung
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 and provided that, it should be done with the involvement of the
government
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sandhb89 on

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