IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
Life is too short and uncertain. Within that short period of
time
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,time
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 it is better to stay healthier as much as we can as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
 is one of the major concerns for every living creature. Do anybody like to stay in a hospital for
one
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one-third
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third
 of their lives?. The answer
of
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to
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 most minds jump is, no. So, as human
beings
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,beings
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 it is clear that keeping away from
health related
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health-related
show examples
 obstacles and diseases is vital than spending
lifetime
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a lifetime
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 with endless medical remedies. Globally, each country’s
government
 directing their money on behalf of
this
. I completely agree with the above statement and in
this
essay
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,essay
show examples
 I will explain why it is.
Firstly
, every
people
 should aware of the importance of being healthier;
moreover
, there will not
any
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be any
show examples
 effect of doing any kind of things to boost fitness and
health
.
For instance
, the
government
 should enhance
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of programs, campaigns, advertisements to convince
people
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 benefits of protecting from diseases rather than living with medical treatments.
Furthermore
, the
government
 can elaborate and show
people
 how they would suffer from being unhealthy, not only physically but
also
 mentally too.
This
 is mostly because of the cost
for
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of
show examples
 medicine and machines engaging with treatments.
For example
, it is very expensive to do a treatment like
,
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apply
show examples
 Chemotherapy and painful too. If more
people
familiar
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are familiar
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 with
such
 things,
consequently
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more
people
 would allure to protect. In conclusion, it was clearly argued that get
avoid
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avoids
show examples
 from illnesses and
health
 problems is crucial than being treated for
long
Correct your spelling
lung
show examples
 and provided that, it should be done with the involvement of the
government
.
Submitted by sandhb89 on

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