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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Recently, some people have access to computers and the Internet on a large scale, and a significant proportion of kids play computer
games
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the positive and negative effects, present some reasons, and suggest solutions to minimize the negative effects.* *
To begin
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 with, the positive side of spending
time
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 playing video
games
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:
First,
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it can improve technological skills, which are essential these days. Playing these
games
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 can open up many opportunities for younger people.
For instance
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, holding a competition every month in schools can help recognize talented students and allow their creativity to be showcased through global competitions. Participating in various areas can not only enhance the reputation of the school but
also
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 encourage parents to support their kids.* *
On the other hand
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, there are negative sides that affect young people's performance. Spending a long
time
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 playing video
games
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 can lead to social isolation and may
also
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 cause issues
such
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 as depression and obesity. To address these problems, there are two effective solutions.
First,
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parents play a significant role in their children's lives, so they should set limits on the
time
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 spent playing
games
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 to avoid any future issues.
Additionally
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, schools can help by reducing the amount of homework that requires children to rely on the Internet for answers and replacing it with traditional assignments to ensure they stay active and engaged in physical activities.* **In conclusion,
time
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 spent on computers and video
games
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 can have both positive and negative effects on kids' lives, depending on how it is managed. Excessive use of computers without supervision can cause multiple problems.
Therefore
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, parents and the school community need to work together to avoid any future issues.

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task response
Provide more specific examples or studies to illustrate the positive and negative impacts of computer games more vividly.
task response
Consider exploring a wider range of solutions to minimize the negative effects of computer games. For instance, discussing community involvement or awareness campaigns could enrich your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization by explicitly stating the main idea of each paragraph at the beginning of it.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
task response
It addresses both positive and negative impacts of computer games and provides solutions, demonstrating a comprehensive approach.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows a good logical structure with main points supported by reasonable explanations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • inappropriate content
  • social skills
  • isolation
  • academic performance
  • time limits
  • parental supervision
  • age-appropriate
  • physical activities
  • digital literacy
  • balanced computer usage
  • excessive gaming
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