IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You recently broke your leg and your colleagues from work sent you get well cards and presents. Write a letter to them and say •Thanks them for supporting you. •Describe how you spend your time. •Explain about your recovery process.

#leg #colleagues #work #cards #•thanks #•describe #time #•explain #recovery #process
Hello, dear Tim. You can't really understand how boring is it to sit at home, and how great it was to get your card and present. I'
m
 at home already 10 days, after discharge from the hospital, and 2 weeks after the surgery. I'
m
 feeling much better, I can move from the bed to the wheelchair by myself,
moreover
, I'
m
 trying to step with the crutches. I
finally
 have enough time to watch all of the new series, and to play new games. But I can't believe how much I miss the work and the staff. I'
m
 missing our brainstorms, teamwork, etc. My mom helps me to cope with chores, but it's not enough. The plushy puppy which you sent to me was so adorable, it makes me want to adopt any pet when I'll feel better. So I wanted to ask you to go with me to the shelter after my return to work.
Furthermore
, I have one more week of my rehabilitation program, and I hope I'll be back in 10 days. Looking forward to seeing you all. Sincerely yours, Anastassia.
Submitted by anastasia on

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down some of the longer paragraphs to clearly separate individual ideas. This will improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more to make the letter more engaging.
task achievement
You have covered all the points required by the task very effectively.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is warm and sincere, which suits the purpose well.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and polite.
coherence cohesion
Your logical flow of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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