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Band 5

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers.

#murderers #death #penalty #society #murder #life #prison #punishment
It is globally enacted that whenever a crime is committed, even it was pretty small or heinous there should be a punishment,
however
. Some argue that, if the people who have already committed a murder, punished with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 death penalty, the murders would
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
happened
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 more frequently around the world and it is better to imprison them than killing. I completely agree with the statement itself and
this
 essay will argue why is it. Considering humanity, there are some other ways of compensation
instead
 of capital punishment.
A
Remove the article
Murderer
show examples
murderer
 imprisonment throughout their life is a good way to punish them.
For instance
, when they staying in prison for longer, they will better understand the degree of the crime they did and will no longer tend to make anyone a victim.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 there will be a possibility of emancipating and getting amnesty from the government of a country under certain circumstances because of well
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of the
murderer
 during imprisonment. So it is clear that imprisoning is better than letting them die.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it is clear that we cannot eradicate
murdering
Replace the word
murder
show examples
, though only one person in the world is punished by
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 penalty. We must
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 all efforts to decline the rate of
murdering
Replace the word
murder
show examples
instead
. If it would be possible to make some advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the reformed
murderer
 than just killing him, I strongly believe that it is the best thing we could ever gain as human beings in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion, it was successfully argued from the above essay that imprisonment is better than capital punishment
towards
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any
murderer
.
Submitted by sandhb89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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