Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is common knowledge that many countries allocate substantial funds to the arts.
While
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some argue that investment in
art
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is essential, others contend that these resources would be better spent on
health
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and
education
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. In my opinion,
although
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supporting the arts is important, prioritizing
health
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and
education
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more beneficial for societal development. There are several reasons why people are inclined to believe that investing in
art
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is necessary.
Firstly
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,
art
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is a vital part of cultural heritage and identity. It portrays the history and values of a society, providing a sense of continuity and pride.
For instance
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, famous museums and galleries attract millions of visitors, contributing to the tourism industry and the economy.
Additionally
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,
art
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can persuade individuals to think creatively and critically and
fostering
Wrong verb form
foster
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innovation and new ideas.
On the other hand
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, there are compelling arguments for prioritizing
health
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and
education
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. Investing in these areas provides a wide range of services that directly improve the quality of life.
For example
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, enhanced healthcare facilities can reduce mortality rates and improve
overall
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public
health
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.
Similarly
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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strong
education
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system equips adolescents with the knowledge and skills needed for personal and professional success. It is often exaggerated how much
art
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contributes to individual well-being compared to the tangible benefits of good
health
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and
education
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. In conclusion,
while
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art
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investment has its merits in preserving culture and promoting creativity, I believe that the primary focus should be on improving
health
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and
education
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. These sectors provide essential services that have a more immediate and significant impact on people's lives.
Therefore
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, governments should allocate resources
accordingly
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to ensure the
overall
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development of society.
Submitted by eparfenenkov on

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task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided clear reasoning for your own opinion. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence, such as data or case studies, could strengthen your essay further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure. To improve even further, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction is well-crafted, clearly stating the topic and your position. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
logical structure
You have provided logical and coherent arguments for both sides of the debate, making your essay balanced and well-considered.
coherence cohesion
The essay is cohesive with smooth transitions between paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your train of thought easily.
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