Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is common knowledge that many countries allocate substantial funds to the arts.

While

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some argue that investment in

art

Use synonyms

is essential, others contend that these resources would be better spent on

health

Use synonyms

and

education

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

although

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supporting the arts is important, prioritizing

health

Use synonyms

and

education

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more beneficial for societal development. There are several reasons why people are inclined to believe that investing in

art

Use synonyms

is necessary.

Firstly

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art

Use synonyms

is a vital part of cultural heritage and identity. It portrays the history and values of a society, providing a sense of continuity and pride.

For instance

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, famous museums and galleries attract millions of visitors, contributing to the tourism industry and the economy.

Additionally

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art

Use synonyms

can persuade individuals to think creatively and critically and

fostering

Wrong verb form

foster

show examples

innovation and new ideas.

On the other hand

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, there are compelling arguments for prioritizing

health

Use synonyms

and

education

Use synonyms

. Investing in these areas provides a wide range of services that directly improve the quality of life.

For example

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, enhanced healthcare facilities can reduce mortality rates and improve

overall

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public

health

Use synonyms

Similarly

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the

Correct article usage

show examples

strong

education

Use synonyms

system equips adolescents with the knowledge and skills needed for personal and professional success. It is often exaggerated how much

art

Use synonyms

contributes to individual well-being compared to the tangible benefits of good

health

Use synonyms

and

education

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. In conclusion,

while

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art

Use synonyms

investment has its merits in preserving culture and promoting creativity, I believe that the primary focus should be on improving

health

Use synonyms

and

education

Use synonyms

. These sectors provide essential services that have a more immediate and significant impact on people's lives.

Therefore

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, governments should allocate resources

accordingly

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to ensure the

overall

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development of society.

eparfenenkovThu Jul 18 2024

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task response

You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided clear reasoning for your own opinion. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence, such as data or case studies, could strengthen your essay further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure. To improve even further, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction is well-crafted, clearly stating the topic and your position. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.

logical structure

You have provided logical and coherent arguments for both sides of the debate, making your essay balanced and well-considered.

coherence cohesion

The essay is cohesive with smooth transitions between paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your train of thought easily.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people think technological devices such as smartphones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?