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Band 6.5

Some people say that children should stay at school until the age 18.others suggest the age of 14 is enough .discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some people believe that pupils should
study
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 until they are 18 years old, while others argue that it is unnecessary to go to
school
Use synonyms
 and 14 years old is mature enough for getting out of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, learning from
school
Use synonyms
 can develop children both academics and extracurricular activities, which are essential for their careers in the future.
Besides
Linking Words
, youth under 18 years old may not understand themselves and may make wrong decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, children may hesitate to choose their working area or which subjects
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 should pursue. Undoubtedly, teachers can give them
excellent
Add an article
an excellent
show examples
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
. Without a recommendation from teachers, students may get lost and go with a wrong life's path.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be better to
study
Use synonyms
 and gain more knowledge and experience at
school
Use synonyms
 until the age of 18.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that anyone can learn outside a classroom ,and pupils who have knowledge less than high
school
Use synonyms
 is acceptable.
In addition
Linking Words
, pupils are no longer need to
study
Use synonyms
 if they know what to do, or they have families' businesses. To illustrate, a young boy whose parents run more than 10 businesses, and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want to support his family to expand the business.
As a result
Linking Words
, he decided to drop off a
school
Use synonyms
 in order to set up a new business. Though academics will give him knowledge, it might be irrelevant to his career.
Thus
Linking Words
, learning by doing is his answer for building essential skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both studying at
school
Use synonyms
 until the age of 18 and until the age of 14 have different benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, I firmly believe that children should
study
Use synonyms
 until high
school
Use synonyms
 so that they would gain enough experience for making the right decision.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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