IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

#overpopulation #areas #two #ones #governments #individuals
There are myriad of issues caused due to soaring number of inhabitants in the cities. In
this
 essay, remedies taken in
this
 direction by the government to ameliorate the problems will be explicated. The
first
 and foremost trouble caused by the surging population is the exploitation of natural resources.
In other words
, to meet the demands of a growing number of dwellers there will be strenuous pressure on the higher authorities.
As a result
 of
this
, to accommodate the people there will be vandalism of forests and non-renewable sources of energy. Apart from
this
, there will be a hike in the unemployment
rate
 eventually, leads to
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 in criminal activities.
For example
, in, metropolitan cities the illicit tasks are performed more than in the countryside or small urban areas.
Thus
, lack of job opportunities and high crime
rate
 are one of the major concerns due to the higher population. Certainly, to mitigate the problems officials should develop the adjacent areas of cities to accommodate the migrants. Not only
this
 but alternative sources of energy should be promoted for the utilization rather than fossil fuels.
Moreover
, to control the birth
rate
 government should implement a policy of only having two children and aware the public of the repercussions of having more children through awareness campaigns, seminars and talks.
However
, upliftment of the employment sector
also
 solves the menace of crime in a community.
Therefore
, opting for eco-friendly modes coupled with birth control can curb the issue to a great extent. In compendium, deforestation, unemployment and the rise of crime are some troubles that can be overcome by controlling the birth
rate
 and generating work opportunities.
Submitted by sangeeta252618 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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