A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

Finance

management

is one of the most crucial parts of people's lives. If a question about

money

management

in students is addressed, it will be challenging for us to make a decision. Some people are firm believers in the importance of

management

skills

in children. Others,

however

, have shown intense devotion to that argument.

This

essay will examine the reason why the young generation can not manage

money

and will discuss how to improve in

this

skill. The

first

and most obvious reason is their parents spoil their kids. The rationale behind

this

is that parent will support for financial problems, if their children ask for. As the result, they will use to it and don't try to manage the

money

by themselves. According to local university research, it indicates that 60% of the real reason that kids ask for more

money

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

they want to buy new games or toys. As the result, they don't learn how to collecting and managing

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

. Moving to how to teach these

skills

, the potential of which is that limiting their budget so they can learn how to manage the budget. Despite being not enough

money

, children have to know how to make

money

by themselves.

Therefore

they can learn the greatest lesson of their life.

However

, parents ought to be their guardian who looks after them and suggest the solution if they facing problems. In conclusion, students can learn a lot of

skills

from school

however

there are some

skills

that parents should be involved

such

money

management

. From my perspective, students should learn

this

skill which will be useful for their future.

Submitted by sahapol.rs on Thu Sep 09 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
real-world applications
consumer culture
credit facilities
financial independence
practical financial literacy
manage finances
financial responsibility
money management
financial planning
tailored
accessible

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A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that the experience children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinions.