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Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a county in 1950 and 2010

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a county in 1950 and 2010
#show #household #expenditures #county
The given pie charts compare the proportion of household outcomes between 1950 and 2010. As an
overall
 trend, the charts show seven major
of
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apply
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household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 and there were higher percentages in 1950 rather than
2010
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in 2010
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. We can see that, in 1950 just a
slightly
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slight
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 difference
percentages
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in percentages
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, unless
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Housing has the largest portion
by
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apply
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72.1%. The amount of Food small minority,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is 11.2%. Meanwhile, in 2010 Food big
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
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 of 34%,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a
Add a missing verb
was a
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large portion
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of
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2010. After that,
on
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apply
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Education has
average
Correct article usage
an average
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6.6
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of 6.6
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% similar
in
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to
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 2010. On Health Care in 1950 just a tiny fraction,
that is
 2.4% exactly almost the same
in
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as in
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 2010.
Therefore
on
Change preposition
in
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 Transportation in 2010 there was higher than in 1950, which is 3.3%. The
last
 one in 1950 on Other just a tiny number than in 2010, which is 19.2%. There has been an insignificant minority on Housing in 2010, the difference so big if compare in 1959
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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