IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Economic advancement is the most important goal with the government’s opinion.
In contrast
, people claim that other types of
progress
 are
also
 important for a country. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. On the one hand, a supervisor
economy
 was expressed through people’s quality of life
such
 as salaries or job creation.
This
 may enhance the mentality of citizens by having more policies relating to opportunities for unemployment or social assistance.
Moreover
, the hierarchy in society can decrease.
Secondly
, the government can spend money on infrastructure and build more schools or hospitals,
then
, it will possibly polish up the picture with other countries and residents would have a positive view of their country.
This
 would make the rating of people go abroad can decrease and contribute effort to the domestic
economy
.
Finally
, the
economy
 is a top criterion for the countries if the government wants to create relationships with other countries.
Therefore
, economic
progress
 is one of the major elements in the goal’s country.
On the other hand
, various other forms of
progress
 are just as significant as the economic factors mentioned above. Medical improvement is the aspect that affects a lot of the country’s
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
. The patient can recognize the signs of sickness and how to measure them effectively. Towards science, creating some new medician who can measure terminally ill is a challenge nowadays. The necessitates in medical was showed through the COVID-19 while the number of dead people by
this
 pandemic is a lot. So,
besides
 economic
progress
, medical development is an element in the country’s goal.
In addition
, protecting the environment and raise the quality of air is considered necessary by resulted in the health, well-being and happiness of its residents. In conclusion, the
economy
 is absolutely playing a key role in a nation’s success at the present.
However
, things
such
 as medication and the environment are as important as the
economy
.
Submitted by haioanhcongviec on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: