IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities
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In
this
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 age of change,
sports
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 activities play a vital role in today's society. In
this
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 case, a number of
people
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 suggest that business corporations ought to supply indigenous
people
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 with sport and social
facilities
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. From my personal perspective, I am in favour of
this
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 notion due to several reasons which will be discussed and explained in
this
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 essay. Nowadays, there are numerous
companies
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 all over the world. Setting the sport and social
facilities
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 may give positive impacts on both societies and
companies
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.
To begin
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 with,
companies
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 sponsor to organize sporting events, competitions and maintain the participants with awards and certificates.
As a result
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, the number of attendances for
sports
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 activities will increase and it leads to maintain
people
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's healthier lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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 way they can advertise their own company production brands to local residents.
Likewise
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, if associations invest more money to erect some kind of buildings
such
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 as
sports
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facilities
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, premises and communal structures, it can attract more and more
people
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 to visit these places. It is beneficial for both government and locals. What I mean,
people
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 no need to go to other places if there are suitable
facilities
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 in their hometown.
On the other hand
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, not only
companies
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 but
also
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 government should do it for inhabitants. To sum up, I am strongly convinced that
sports
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facilities
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 and
such
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 kinds of social events should be invested in by
companies
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 in order to improve the population's well-being and social development.
Submitted by odil_m on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community well-being
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • healthcare costs
  • public image
  • customer loyalty
  • economic growth
  • community relations
  • job satisfaction
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stimulate local economy
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