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Band 1.5

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this?

#supermarkets #food #country #imports
First
 of all, nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people used to buy a lot of unhealthy commodities that imports from overseas countries.
This
 is not a positive development as most of the crowd spending a haul bunch of money to buy imported unhealthier foods rather than buying
non expensive
Add a hyphen
non-expensive
show examples
 locally made healthier food items.
Furthermore
,
Majority
Correct article usage
the Majority
show examples
 of supermarkets selling junk food brought foreign countries,
such
 as crisp. These days, like all of the
children
Add the comma(s)
,children
show examples
 addicted to
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 these totally unhealthy foods that can lead them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cancer in the future.
However
,
this
 can be good for the retailers but not for the consumers.
Submitted by wsbsangeeth on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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