Some people think children should do extra-classes after school. Others disagree and say they should play sports outside their school hours. What is your opinion on this? Suggest healthy ways for children to develop.

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It is often debated whether children should attend
extra-classes
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extra classes
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after school or spend their time playing
sports
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.
While
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some believe academic enrichment is the best use of time, others argue that physical activity is more important for a child’s development. In my opinion, a balanced approach that includes
both
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study and
sports
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is the most beneficial, and I will explain why in
this
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essay. On the one hand, extra academic classes can help
students
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improve their grades and prepare for competitive university entrance exams. In many countries, including Korea, educational achievement is highly valued, and
students
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who receive additional instruction often have better academic outcomes.
For example
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,
students
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attending after-school math or science programs may perform better on standardized tests, which could lead to more opportunities in the future.
On the other hand
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, physical activity is essential for children’s mental and physical health. Playing
sports
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helps release stress, improves concentration, and encourages teamwork. A child who spends all their time studying without moving their body may suffer from
both
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physical fatigue and emotional burnout.
Therefore
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, regular exercise outside school hours is not only a way to stay healthy but
also
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to become more productive in their studies. To support children’s healthy development, I believe schools and parents should work together to create a balanced daily schedule.
For instance
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,
students
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could attend academic programs for an hour after school and
then
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participate in
sports
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for another hour.
This
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way, they benefit from
both
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intellectual and physical growth without becoming overwhelmed by either. In conclusion,
while
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extra-classes
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extra classes
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provide academic advantages, physical activities are equally important for a child's
overall
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well-being. A balanced routine that includes
both
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study and
sports
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is the healthiest and most effective way for children to grow and develop.

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task achievement
Consider providing additional specific examples related to sports or giving more detailed consequences of not balancing extracurricular activities and sports.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, perhaps by adding transition phrases, which can enhance coherence even further.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and effectively balances both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, with a strong introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complement
  • curriculum
  • personalized attention
  • holistic development
  • resilience
  • balanced lifestyle
  • well-rounded development
  • faculties
  • socially adept
  • creative arts
  • outdoor exploration
  • empathetic
  • adaptable
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