IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Teachers used to convey information, but now students have access to a wide resources of information, there is no role for teachers to play in modern education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#teachers #information #students #access #resources #role #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era,
students
 are able to search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enormous sources of
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 due to the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies, namely the internet.
Therefore
,
teachers
, who play a vital role in disseminating information to
students
 are devalued as a useless career. In my opinion, I strongly believe that
teachers
 are imperative for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
education
 because they do not only teach and provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge to
students
, but they
also
 teach
students
 the art of living.
First
 of all,
although
 the resources of information can be easily accessed by the internet,
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
 still
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 the vital role in taking
care
children
, especially aged less than 10 years old. According to the researches published by
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of
education
 in 2020, the
children
 in
this
stages
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
show examples
 need specific
care
 from their parents or
teachers
 as they cannot take
care
Correct your spelling
themselves
themselve
Change preposition
of themselve
show examples
, and cannot focus on the lesson, without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supervision
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
teachers
.
For example
, they always cry when living alone, and they are easily distracted by video games
instead
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online lesson.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
education
 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online learning will never
supercede
Correct your spelling
supersede
teachers
 because it cannot teach the
students
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socialization and the art of living, which sometimes these skills are more important than the
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 taught in the class.
Children
 can only develop these skills by interacting with each other in the real world.
For instance
, in the class,
teachers
 always interact with
students
 by asking them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
questions and have the time before starting the class called the homeroom,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 both of them spend 15 minutes
to talk
Change the verb form
talking
show examples
 with each other
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the situation happening
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yesterday. In conclusion, as
children
 are not a robot, they cannot be uploaded information and knowledge by searching from the internet. For
this
 reason,
teachers
 still play a vital role in the
education
 aspect as they can provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special
care
 to
children
 and teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essentially
Replace the word
essential
show examples
 soft skills to them.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: