IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The Internet has as many disadvantages as it does advantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#internet
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The
internet
 has become a cornerstone of modern life as it enhances communication and
data
-sharing processes. I agree with the statement that it has numerous disadvantages like privacy concerns, fraudulent
websites
 and unauthenticated information, which are not less than its advantages.
To begin
 with, the
internet
 has multifarious demerits for both the social and professional world. Foremost, since a number of
websites
 require the personal
data
 of customers before signing up,
this
 can be easily hacked by hackers. World Cyber Crime Department situated in the UK,
for instance
, published in its annual report in May 2015 that no sooner did a virus named ransomware attack Facebook than the
data
 and personal images of 1.5 million
users
 went viral.
Thus
,
such
 leaks can be life-threatening to the
users
 because they can be tracked and kidnapped.
In addition
, not only do unauthenticated
websites
 provide misleading information but
also
 fake offers and ads gear up the chance of monetary loss of customers.
Thus
, criminal-minded people can easily edit
such
websites
 and use
these
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 against the
users
. On the other side, the
internet
 does have merits, which can never be undermined. Primary, it has tremendously increased the speed of communication channels.
For example
, after the introduction of online video calls, people now can connect to their family members, friends and colleagues from anywhere.
For example
, Zoom
internet
 calling software has the ability to connect 1000
users
 in an online call.
This
 feature is surreal as individuals can talk and see their loved ones even though they live in distant countries. What is more, the
internet
’s feature of email comes
along with
 many privileges where it can transfer
data
 quickly and can send a huge amount of
data
 in compressed folders like zip folders.
To conclude
, I advocate that the
internet
 has as many demerits as its merits though to some extent, its effectiveness may be differentiated as per the requirement of the
users
.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that the transitions between ideas and paragraphs are seamless. This will help the reader follow your points more clearly.
task achievement
Expand on your points with more specific examples and elaboration. This will help to fully develop your argument and make it more persuasive.
general
Work on diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and complexity of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear stance and summarizing the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced response.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples, such as the mention of the ransomware attack, effectively support the main arguments provided.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • instantaneous communication
  • social media platforms
  • virtual meetings
  • e-commerce
  • global marketplaces
  • streaming services
  • online gaming
  • content creation
  • remote working
  • cyberbullying
  • internet addiction
  • access to information
  • professional development
  • privacy concerns
  • educational resources
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