The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often argued that the
health
standards of the
future
generation
will be low when compared to the present
generation
. In my opinion, I completely agree that the
people
in
future
will have a lot of problems related to
health
when compared to us.
Firstly
, with the advancement in
technology
, we live in a global village as communication has brought all of us together when compared with the previous
generation
. Because of
this
, the competition has
also
been raised a lot in order to succeed. So, the general population will now have to do a lot of
work
to be in the job market.
This
brings on high
work
pressure, as many more talented
people
are there to replace you. To overcome
this
,
people
might become more career-driven and to compensate for
this
,
health
will be pushed on the backseat. Already, in the IT industry, almost 40% of the
people
believe that because of project deadlines, they are unable to take time out for their daily exercises and family.
On the other hand
, it is believed that
people
will be more aware of their
health
in the
future
as compared to now. Despite
this
, I think that because of advancements in
technology
, the young
generation
will not be willing to put in the hard
work
and time towards fitness. The young
generation
, seeing their parents working all the time, will become result-oriented. So, because of
this
, as well as the advancement in
technology
, they will be even more dependent on
technology
to solve tasks and problems. In conclusion, irrespective of the fact that
people
will be more informed about their body,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
work
pressure and the advancement in
technology
will damage the
health
of the
future
generation
.
Submitted by mulchand.sen16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: