IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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As
people
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 grow older, they start to require special attention. While some
people
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 believe that old
age
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 homes tend to cater to the needs of the elderly, others feel that
this
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 can
also
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 be accomplished with their families. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing both sides of the argument and sharing my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, as you are ageing, you become fragile and are unable to take
care
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 of yourself. Oldage homes serve exactly for
this
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 purpose.
For instance
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, in a special needs
home
Add a comma
,home
show examples
 you have nurses taking
care
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 of you all day, providing you with meals and medicines in a timely manner.
Moreover
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, at
this
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age
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, it is challenging to go out and meet friends of a similar
age
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 group.
This
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 can be solved in an elderly home, as you get to spend time with
people
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 of your
age
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 who can relate to you.
Although
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 special homes are very capable of taking
care
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 of old
people
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, they cannot replace family. As you get older you want your family to be by your side. The
care
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 that children provide for their parents is unrivalled.
For example
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, an individual may feel uncomfortable asking a nurse to change their diaper whereas with a son/daughter they will make you feel at ease.
Additionally
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, the attention that a loved one provides, especially when you are old cannot be seen anywhere else. By way of conclusion, despite special
care
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 being available for old
people
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, the attention provided by an adult child is significantly higher than that of a nurse and it is the duty of the children to take
care
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 of their parents.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • senior citizens
  • tailored
  • accessible facilities
  • professional healthcare
  • socializing
  • fosters
  • alleviates
  • familial bonds
  • emotional support
  • sense of belonging
  • intergenerational living
  • preference
  • personal circumstances
  • independent living
  • balanced approach
  • prioritized
  • family dynamics
  • well-being
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