IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others , however , believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Parents
 are believed that it is their responsibility to educate their
children
 to be well-mannered members of society.
Besides
 , school is
also
 supposed to be a good place to teach
children
 how to be helpful individuals. Generally, I strongly agree with the former for several reasons. On the one hand,
parents
 should be responsible for teaching their
children
 at an early age how to be useful people in society.
First
 and foremost,
children
 at
this
 age are more likely to mimic their
parents
' behaviours or grandparents' attitudes. If adults do good and live well,
children
also
 treat their friends and cousins nicely. Nowadays, the majority of
parents
 have less time to accompany
children
 in learning activities but they try to teach their offspring through small talks or playing games.
On the other hand
, schools should be in charge of training students.
Firstly
, students spend most of their time at school so teachers must be the right people to teach them not only academic subjects but
also
 moral lessons.
Secondly
, most
children
 actually obey their headteacher much more than their
parents
.
Last
 but not least, qualified educators get many styles to approach
children
 so based on the
children
's background, they will design proper lessons to help
children
 realize their mistakes and behave better. In conclusion, I believe that school and
parents
 hold a shared responsibility in educating
children
 because they both have direct impacts on forming
children
's characteristics.
Therefore
, both parties must perform their roles well in training their
children
 to become good and helpful individuals in the community when they grow up.
Submitted by Lisa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: