IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
The diagram illustrates how to produce
sugar
 from
sugar
 canes plants. There are seven steps of manufacturing before the final product is being delivered to the market. Overall, the
process
 consists of seven stages which are starting from farming
sugar
 cane plants and ending with the drying and cooling
process
. The
first
 step is that planting
sugar
 canes, while it will be taking, 12-18 month time period for growing. After the cultivation period harvesting has collected by using the man or machinery power. The
next
 step is a crushing
process
.
In addition
, collected all canes are put through to the machine and collected juice for a separate tray. After that juice has been purifying throughout the limestone filter. In the 5th stage, a juice is put into the heating
process
 until it becomes a syrup.
Moreover
, the heated syrup is put into the centrifuge system, while it may help to separate
sugar
 crystals from the syrup. In the end, the final products are ready to leave the factory and meet the retails.
Submitted by Test Mode on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: