Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

It is a precept amongst a large section of society that the primary source of

joy

is through acquiring monetary abundance, whereas experts say that excess of everything is bad. Being rich doesn’t mean having possession; rather, it is just living

life

to the fullest with

joy

and happiness. The below essay will be throwing light on how

money

tends to help people gain bliss in heart and

also

about a few small things, that can bring real pleasure to anyone.

To begin

with, in today's world, prosperity has a direct connection with the accomplishments and the bank balance that, one has over a period of time.

This

is deemed as the foremost support to showcase how blessed a person is in his/her

life

For instance

, one of our family friends has been successful in their family business. Owing to

this

, they now have considerable finances.

Consequently

, they have made material advancements as well.

Hence

money

is bound to bring prosperity in terms of things we can buy in

this

world.

On the other hand

, there are small things in

life

that are capable to bring astounding

joy

and pleasure to one's own

life

. A tiresome day at the office followed by a blissful reception by a child can bring anyone back to

life

For example

, a simple chit-chat with elders at home to just listen to them can quench their desire. An outing with family can strengthen the bonds. All the aforementioned

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

does not require a fortune.

Thus

, rather than running behind

money

, we should try to find happiness. To conclude, mankind often falls into the deceitful trap of

money

to harness pleasure.

Instead

this

, they should value relationships and become the reason for others delight.

Therefore

, a bounty of

money

can never bring

joy

but even a simple gesture can become a reason to be ecstatic.

Submitted by jatinkochar1993 on Sun Sep 12 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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