IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

convinience foods will become increasingly prevelant and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparing. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convinience #foods #prevelant #methods #food
Due to the technological advances of the present context,
food
 processing
methods
 have
also
 become increasingly advanced and
therefore
 traditional
methods
 are being replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast and efficient convenience
food
. In my opinion, I agree with the statement and I will
further
 elaborate my perspective in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, as the
people
 are busy with their day to day lives, they have invented
methods
 in order to make their lives easier and due to
this
 reason
people
 have found ways to improve their
food
 patterns that
matches
Change the verb form
match
show examples
 the
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
. As
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an example, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals are now using
coffee
 makers
instead
 of the traditional
coffee
 making with the use of jugs or they simply buy a
coffee
 from a
coffee
 shop on the way to their office.
Moreover
,
people
 are used to
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 fast
food
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
food
 as it is convenient for them compared to earlier.
For instance
, working mothers mostly give their children fast
food
 and junk
food
 since preparing a meal is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. There are several equipment and machines that made life easy to produce
food
 nowadays.
In
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 ancient
people
 have always used traditional
methods
 that are healthy and tasty at the same time. But due to the fact of
limited
Add an article
the limited
show examples
 time these all
methods
 have currently been replaced by more convenient fast
methods
. Since
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the past
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 working in paddy fields and
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 more into agricultural occupations, they always had the motivation to prepare varieties of
food
.
Additionally
, these
methods
 are
also
 been replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
methods
 and farmers
also
 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new equipment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cultivation
therefore
 rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
methods
. To conclude, I believe that traditional
methods
 of making
food
 are obviously replaced by modern
methods
 due to technological improvements in order to make a man’s life easier.
Submitted by wsbsangeeth on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: