Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

Some individuals said that

music

should be played because it gives an advantage to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and the audience,

however

, there is an argument that says

music

actually gives a bad effect on both. In my point of view, it is undeniable that there are some negative

effects

from

music

, whereas, there are plenty more positive

effects

in many ways. Nowadays,

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

are being played around the world in many languages,

also

, in some

cultures

Add a comma

,cultures

show examples

they have exactly the same rhythms and meaning, the only thing

that is

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

is the language, mostly there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

religion

Replace the word

religious

show examples

music

;

for instance

, god blessing

music

in Christian, they play the same

music

in every country or church, even though, they are played in a different language, but people will always feel in the same way when they heard

this

song.

Thus

, it can be seen that there are some connections in

music

between society, it shows us that it does not matter what language we are talking

, the

Change preposition

about, the

show examples

only thing that matter is the meaning of it, and it can be represented in

music

Futhurmore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, there are

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

evidences

Change the wording

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

show examples

and researches that support the importance of

music

espicially

Correct your spelling

especially

classical

music

this

is due to the fact that classical

music

can help children develop their brain better when they are listening to classical

music

while they are sleeping.

Moreover

music

not only

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

kids' brain grow better

Add the word(s)

but,

show examples

also

can cure the sadness and stress, by listening to

music

the brain will release

chemical

Add an article

a chemical

show examples

that will make the person to feel happy, so it can reduce stress and help with mental illness.

In addition

, there are many hospitals around the world that use

music

to make the patients feel more

relax

Change the form of the verb

relaxed

show examples

, because they believe that mental health will affect

the

Change the word

their

show examples

physical health,

therefore

music

can

also

cure some physical health.

However

, it is true that there are some certain types of

music

that are not

benefitcial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for some

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

show examples

or especially youth;

for example

, rap

music

, not all rap

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

are bad, but it

also

cannot be denied that some rap

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

contains very sensitive contents,

such

as, sarcasm, sex , politics, and racisms.

It there

Correct pronoun usage

There

show examples

is no doubt that these contents are not good for children or people with mental illness. To conclude, it is true that there are some terrible

effects

that are not good for some individuals;

on the other hand

, if they choose the right types of

music

for themselves, I am sure that it will provide more benefits to those people.

Therefore

, I believe that

music

gives us more positive

effects

Submitted by ananda090934 on Mon Sep 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

432 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to wok in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Disccuss both of these views and give your opinion

beingselfish is considered a reason for job success? Give your opinion. Reasons with examples

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? Should this be taught in schools?

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?