Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals said that
music
should be played because it gives an advantage to the
society and the audience, Correct article usage
apply
however
, there is an argument that says music
actually gives a bad effect on both. In my point of view, it is undeniable that there are some negative effects
from music
, whereas, there are plenty more positive effects
in many ways.
Nowadays, musics
are being played around the world in many languages, Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
also
, in some cultures
they have exactly the same rhythms and meaning, the only thing Add a comma
,cultures
that is
diffrent
is the language, mostly there Correct your spelling
different
are
Change the verb form
is
religion
Replace the word
religious
music
; for instance
, god blessing music
in Christian, they play the same music
in every country or church, even though, they are played in a different language, but people will always feel in the same way when they heard this
song. Thus
, it can be seen that there are some connections in music
between society, it shows us that it does not matter what language we are talking, the
only thing that matter is the meaning of it, and it can be represented in Change preposition
about, the
music
.
Futhurmore
, there are Correct your spelling
Furthermore
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
evidences
and researches that support the importance of Change the wording
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
music
, espicially
classical Correct your spelling
especially
music
, this
is due to the fact that classical music
can help children develop their brain better when they are listening to classical music
while they are sleeping. Moreover
, music
not only make
kids' brain grow betterChange the verb form
makes
,
it Add the word(s)
but,
also
can cure the sadness and stress, by listening to music
the brain will release chemical
that will make the person to feel happy, so it can reduce stress and help with mental illness. Add an article
a chemical
In addition
, there are many hospitals around the world that use music
to make the patients feel more relax
, because they believe that mental health will affect Change the form of the verb
relaxed
the
physical health, Change the word
their
therefore
, music
can also
cure some physical health.
However
, it is true that there are some certain types of music
that are not benefitcial
for some Correct your spelling
beneficial
population
or especially youth; Fix the agreement mistake
populations
for example
, rap music
, not all rap musics
are bad, but it Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
also
cannot be denied that some rap musics
contains very sensitive contents, Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
such
as, sarcasm, sex , politics, and racisms. It there
is no doubt that these contents are not good for children or people with mental illness.
To conclude, it is true that there are some terrible Correct pronoun usage
There
effects
that are not good for some individuals; on the other hand
, if they choose the right types of music
for themselves, I am sure that it will provide more benefits to those people. Therefore
, I believe that music
gives us more positive effects
.Submitted by ananda090934 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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