Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

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Some individuals said that

music

Use synonyms

should be played because it gives an advantage to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and the audience,

however

Linking Words

, there is an argument that says

music

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actually gives a bad effect on both. In my point of view, it is undeniable that there are some negative

effects

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from

music

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, whereas, there are plenty more positive

effects

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in many ways. Nowadays,

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

are being played around the world in many languages,

also

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, in some

cultures

Add a comma

,cultures

show examples

they have exactly the same rhythms and meaning, the only thing

that is

Linking Words

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

is the language, mostly there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

religion

Replace the word

religious

show examples

music

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;

for instance

Linking Words

, god blessing

music

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in Christian, they play the same

music

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in every country or church, even though, they are played in a different language, but people will always feel in the same way when they heard

this

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song.

Thus

Linking Words

, it can be seen that there are some connections in

music

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between society, it shows us that it does not matter what language we are talking

, the

Change preposition

about, the

show examples

only thing that matter is the meaning of it, and it can be represented in

music

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Futhurmore

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Furthermore

, there are

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

evidences

Change the wording

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

show examples

and researches that support the importance of

music

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espicially

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especially

classical

music

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this

Linking Words

is due to the fact that classical

music

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can help children develop their brain better when they are listening to classical

music

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while they are sleeping.

Moreover

Linking Words

music

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not only

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

kids' brain grow better

Add the word(s)

but,

show examples

also

Linking Words

can cure the sadness and stress, by listening to

music

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the brain will release

chemical

Add an article

a chemical

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that will make the person to feel happy, so it can reduce stress and help with mental illness.

In addition

Linking Words

, there are many hospitals around the world that use

music

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to make the patients feel more

relax

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relaxed

show examples

, because they believe that mental health will affect

the

Change the word

their

show examples

physical health,

therefore

Linking Words

music

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can

also

Linking Words

cure some physical health.

However

Linking Words

, it is true that there are some certain types of

music

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that are not

benefitcial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for some

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

show examples

or especially youth;

for example

Linking Words

, rap

music

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, not all rap

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

are bad, but it

also

Linking Words

cannot be denied that some rap

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

contains very sensitive contents,

such

Linking Words

as, sarcasm, sex , politics, and racisms.

It there

Correct pronoun usage

There

show examples

is no doubt that these contents are not good for children or people with mental illness. To conclude, it is true that there are some terrible

effects

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that are not good for some individuals;

on the other hand

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, if they choose the right types of

music

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for themselves, I am sure that it will provide more benefits to those people.

Therefore

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, I believe that

music

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gives us more positive

effects

Use synonyms

Submitted by ananda090934 on Mon Sep 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

432 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

In some countries, people's weight has significantlyincreased, while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem,and what solutions can you suggest to solve them?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantges of this outweight the disadvantages?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.