IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to accept
that young
Change the determiner
that young person
those young people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
supposed
Add a missing verb
are supposed
show examples
 to do some social services in their spare
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. In my opinion, it is very important to take some responsibilities without any salary
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. While teenagers are learning to make volunteer
works
Use synonyms
, the
community
Use synonyms
 gain benefits at the same time. It seems to me that some
people
Use synonyms
 think teenagers must only study
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their exams.
However
Linking Words
, If nobody force
Linking Words
this young
Change the determiner
this young person
these young people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to take social
responsibilies
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
 on daily
Correct your spelling
lives
life
life's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
, children get used to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 selfish, anti-social and narrow-minded. In order to earn young
people
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, everybody should give enough interest to them.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin, at sixteen,
works
Use synonyms
 at the child care centre of our
municipility
Correct your spelling
municipality
 on weekends. Nobody
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
know
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 he
works
Use synonyms
 with his parents’ force or not, yet his personal skills are significantly changed. He
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 more humble, generous and open-minded.
In addition
Linking Words
, he is very glad to help
people
Use synonyms
 who need support.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, young
people
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’s voluntary
attampts
Correct your spelling
attempts
 are crucial to the
community
Use synonyms
’s relations. I do not believe that only
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
 actions are enough
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 when they need support. The most important fact is
also
Linking Words
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 relationship between society and other
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 helping other
people
Use synonyms
 honestly is make them happy and decrease poverty. The word of rich has not materialist mean always. Rich
people
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 are generous
people
Use synonyms
 who share their wealth, ideas and
suppors
Correct your spelling
supports
support
. If explain needed with a simple example, the
most rich
Change the adjective
richest
show examples
community
Use synonyms
 in the world is in Africa indeed. Taking everything into consideration, teenager’s
community
Use synonyms
works
Use synonyms
 which are with salary
are affect
Change the verb form
are affected
show examples
 both them and
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. While they gain some good skills, they embrace other
people
Use synonyms
 at the same time.
Submitted by basakdiclesahin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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