Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In contemporary discourse, there exists a viewpoint asserting that the government spend a large part of its budget not only on public kickoff

such

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healthcare

Use synonyms

, education, transportation

as well as

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arts

Use synonyms

although

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I agree that it is important to spend money on public convocation, I don’t think spending

additionally

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on the

arts

Use synonyms

is a waste of wealth. On the first side, it is important to acknowledge that

art

Use synonyms

is a way to express ideas and communicate concepts.

This

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perspective posits that leading not only encourages creativity but

also

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promotes harmony in society.

Moreover

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art

Use synonyms

teaches people about their own culture and history.

For Example

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, without government funding, we are not able to protect our cultural heritage and most artists would not be able to work as they don’t make enough wealth to support themselves.

However

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, on the flip side, proponents of meticulous argue that the government should spend a significant amount on public services. First and foremost, Education should be prioritized over

art

Use synonyms

For instance

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, if authorities do not have enough wealth for school, our children may not be properly educated as

art

Use synonyms

does not play a vital role in society.

similarly

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, the

healthcare

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systems need more funding than the

arts

Use synonyms

This

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is because

healthcare

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helps keep people healthy and able to work. It is important for everyone to have access to good

healthcare

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so that they can live longer and better lives.

To sum up

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, as we have seen. There is no easy answer to

this

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question. On balance.

however

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, I tend to believe that public services

such

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as education and

healthcare

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need more funding but they should not forget about supporting

arts

Use synonyms

arts

Use synonyms

add beauty and creativity to our lives, which is still valuable.

Submitted by Alma Islam on Sat Apr 27 2024

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Paragraph Structure

To strengthen your essay, aim for a more structured approach to paragraphing. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea.

Supporting Examples

Consider elaborating more on specific examples that demonstrate the importance of government funding in arts. This could enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.

Task Response

Be mindful of ensuring that your essay directly addresses the prompt throughout, maintaining a consistent stance or point of view. This will help in clearly conveying your position to the reader.

Grammar and Vocabulary

Watch out for minor grammatical errors and word choice to improve clarity and precision in your writing. For example, careful editing could refine expressions and ensure your ideas are communicated more effectively.

Critical Engagement

You provided a balanced view that considers both sides of the argument, which showcases an ability to engage critically with the topic.

Introduction and Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, clearly presenting your overall stance and summarizing your main points.

Logical Flow

You demonstrate a good ability to maintain coherence throughout your essay by linking ideas logically and smoothly transitioning between paragraphs.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

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