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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is better to get advice from old people compared to young people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

#people #advice
It is often said that
advice
 from elderly people is better than that from youngsters.
This
 essay discusses why I think that older individuals could aggregate more with their pieces of words. The main reason I strongly feel that they have better
advice
 to share is that due to their advanced age, they have lived many different situations and as a consequence, they could use those moments to show you the right way.
For instance
, an older man probably would have a lot of tips about how to ask a woman to go out and how to act
equal
Change preposition
as equal
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
gentleman.
In addition
, many elderly individuals love to talk and they feel happier when they can share their memories with others
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
, It is often argued that good
advice
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not linked with
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 age. Even those mature ones could say bad words.
Moreover
, due to the changes of mind that we have passed during these
last
 years, some juveniles tend to have a more
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
 mind than old people. As a consequence, they should think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 diverse aspects and consequences before giving
advice
.
For example
, it is easier to talk about sexualism with someone new than older. In conclusion, I reiterate my strong belief that older individuals can share the most
efficients
Correct your spelling
efficient
 pieces of words because of their huge experience,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them a huge advantage related to the youngsters that in many times are starting to collect their own experiences yet.
Submitted by keila_suelen on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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