Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #life #money

It is opined by part of the society that

primary

Correct article usage

the primary

show examples

source of happiness is to maintain a big bank balance. The ways in which it can make people happy are stated in the

paragraph, followed by other things which can

also

do the same. To commence with, an individual having a lot of

money

can purchase anything in the world, leading to living a luxurious lifestyle. It is said that

money

cannot buy happiness, but, I believe the opposite. As all the luxury items can be purchased with

money

. With

money

, all the basic and costly amenities of family members can be purchased, which will make them happy.

Furthermore

, an individual will do not need to work and they can enjoy their time touring around the world. Everyone needs a vacation to do relax and spend quality time with family.

Person

Add an article

A person

The person

show examples

having a good account balance can only enjoy the vacations as it requires a lot of

funds

For instance

, rich people go to costly places like New York, Europe for spending their leisure time whereas

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

normal class people can only afford to visit an Indian city. Having said that, there are

also

other things in life

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

can make a

person

joyful.

Firstly

, society members having a healthy body can make them joyful. It has been observed that health cannot be purchased through monetary means. And there is no use of vast

funds

user

Add an article

a user

the user

show examples

is not fit. If a user is fit, he or she can enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life and

subsequently

increase their bank balance,

however

, the opposite is not possible.

Moreover

, staying with family members and having good friends can make oneself delightful. As they will be standing in his or

her

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

good and bad times. By talking to them, stress can be relieved, which is most necessary for a

person

. To exemplify, Michael Jackson was a famous rich singer, but he was not fit, and even the vast

funds

can not make him healthy, eventually, he could not enjoy his life without a healthy body. To conclude, vast

funds

can make a

person

happy, but with

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

there comes a lot of responsibilities to handle.

Additionally

, there are other ways, including

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle, which can

also

achieve the same objective.

Submitted by Manvir kaur bhatti on Tue Sep 14 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

376 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

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