IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development
In the present time, and due to parental pressure, children are under huge stress to achieve more success.
This
 is because mothers and fathers want their youngsters to be more rounded to have a well-off life and a well-paid job. All
this
 stress clearly leads to a negative development of their mental, emotional and physical welfare. The main reason why the guardians pressure their juniors to succeed is that they want them to lead a comfortable life. They hold the belief that if their children are more equipped with different skills and as well as having the highest grades, they will have an academic qualification that guarantees a well-paid job.
Therefore
, in order to have
such
 skills, children are often overworked with many activities more than they can withstand.
For example
, according to studies, on average, every child is now enrolled in three different clubs that there is barely any time left to play with friends and enjoy their childhood. Undoubtedly, all
this
 stress leads to significant negative consequences on the young ones’ well-being.
Consequently
, the juveniles now are more anxious than ever,
as a result
, their health is affected severely. A good illustration here, is the increasing incidence of eating disorders, Anxiety disorders, depression and violent attitudes in juniors. Clearly,
such
 an environment is destructive for the children’s development, they end up failing at achieving the level of success they aim for as well as they do not enjoy their childhood experience which is essential for developing a healthy adult. In conclusion, the offspring have been dealing with many stresses because parents hold them to very high standards of success. They want them to be more equipped with different skills and high grades,
as a result
,
such
 stressful demands are not the right way to raise a child and undoubtedly have severe negative impacts on their health and development.
Submitted by sarahabony on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: